


Out

by American_Marie



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Aromantic, Asexual Character, Family Fluff, M/M, Stalking, Trans Male Character, Transphobia, Underage Masturbation, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-03 23:06:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 35,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5310536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/American_Marie/pseuds/American_Marie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For his entire life, Dib was afraid that everyone would discover his one solitary secret, but then the decision to tell everyone was forcibly taken from him. Now Dib must struggle with his concerned family, living life as a trans teen, and an alien invader who doesn't understand the enormity of what he had done. Contains a male trans character and explicit content/language</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Misunderstandings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib, finding himself in a bad situation, tries to regain control.

It was sweltering in Dib's room and he couldn't focus on much of anything while he lied in bed and rubbed his eyes. It was a pretty long and tiring day and Dib was suffering from a particularly painful headache. He had to chase Zim all around the halls of the school to try and prevent a new evil plan that Zim had concocted, which involved Bee's and a jar of mayonnaise. The plan overall was stupid, and Dib knew even without intervening, it would have failed. But it was either chase Zim around the school or be subjected to his teacher's severely outdated and inaccurate version of American history. He had hoped that once he had survived middle school, the prospects of being enrolled into all AP classes in high school would prove challenging. He was vastly disappointed.

Normally, after such a tiring day he'd take a short nap and then go downstairs and have a better lunch then the one that was served at school, and then do his homework, but his headache was starting to sting and he felt his whole body tense up from overworking his muscles. And usually, when this happened, there was only one way to relieve that tension. It wasn't something he particularly liked doing, until he actually started to do it. It was the moments before and usually after that filled him with disgust. Nevertheless, he knew that his headache wasn't going anywhere and he wouldn't be able to drift off into a nap unless he got a move on. So he got up, walked to his door, and proceeded to lock it. Dib then started to unbuckle his jeans, kicking them off, then sliding out of his t-shirt. Once that was off, he started to unclasp the binder around his chest, and then breathing a sigh of relief when it was off. Avoiding his bedroom mirror so we wouldn't have to look at his bare chest, he went over to his computer and turned on some music for him to listen to while he got down to it.

Dib lied back down in his bed, clad in only his boxers, and feeling the cool sheets under his skin, and simply breathed in and out, trying to get himself to relax. It was at the end of the day, after wearing his binder for seven hours, that he felt comfortable and calm. As long as he didn't look down at his chest, Dib felt perfectly content. Then, ever so slowly, he slid a tentative hand down to his legs and played with the skin just under his belly. He petted and stroked the skin, enjoying the sensation that was brought on by the soft touch. The skin above his legs was always particularly sensitive, and it was something he enjoyed immensely. Dib felt himself beginning to relax, and then when he realized he was starting to form a wetness between his thighs, that he started to move on. His hands dipped under the elastic band of the boxers but he didn't bother to pull them down. It was better like this. Even if he did brave a glance down at his body, seeing his small breasts was infinitely better than seeing what was under his boxers. Dib finally, very slowly, started to rub his fingertips on his small cock. He refused to call it anything else, once he knew the words, and with the touch, he shuddered. Once he was in the mood, he ached for the touches of his nimble hands.

He swirled his fingers around the tiny head, and finally he could feel it, engorged with blood, popping out of its little hood. He slowed his touches, using just one finger to circle it, around and around. Dib keened, biting his lip, panting harshly. It felt so, so good. He loved touching his little sensitive cock, loved the way it made him feel, loved the way that the heat and the ache would start to pool in his lower body. He could feel the sensations start to spread throughout his entire body and he threw his head back against the pillows, biting his lip so he wouldn't release a moan. Gaz was done stairs and he would be mortified if she could hear him and figure out what he was doing.

Dib continued that way for a while. Just slow, circular motions on his little cock, enjoying the shocks and tingles in his spine when he would rub in just the right spot. He started to spread his legs, fully aware of how completely wet he was. Dib knew he was completely soaked and horny, but didn't dare let his fingers fall down any lower to his front hole. He had tried it once, just once, when he was younger. He hated it.

After continuing this way for a while, Dib noticed that the music that was playing softly on his computer started to pick up the tempo, so he started moving his hand to match the beats. Just a little faster, and Dib groaned, and panted. He felt delicious, and warm, and heavenly. He couldn't describe how good his little cock made him feel, even if it wasn't like the others he had seen, online and in books. It knew how to make him feel good, even if it wasn't what he wanted. After he swirled his hands faster, his fingers caught some of the wetness that was leaking out of him, and it made rubbing his cock easier and slicker and faster. The tempo increased and so did Dib's movements, until he was rocking his hips into his hands, swiveling himself on his fingertips and pressing down harder and harder, and it was building, and building, until-

Dib's free hand grasped at the sheets underneath his body as he tensed all at once and came. The orgasm swept all through him and Dib let out a soft, high pitched chirp, still inaudible enough that no one would hear. Once the waves left him, Dib groaned again. He could feel that his body wasn't sated, so he began the motions again, except this time, his entire fingers were coated in slick and his cock was now fully jutting out from its hood, eager and waiting for his touch. Dib moved his legs up closer to his butt, lifting his hips slightly so he could press himself firmer onto his hands. He knew from experience, that his second orgasms would take longer to reach. He knew he shouldn't rush to it, that it would come in time, but he craved it now. He felt empty without that sweet release.

Dib didn't bother with slow motions this time, and instead rocked his hips into his entire hand, letting his mouth fall open and gasping out, quiet, desperate sighs. He moved his one hand up to his pillow, and he turned and pressed his face into it. He wanted it so bad, wanted that build and that release and the drop. He was crying now, face pressed against his bed, going out of his mind with lust. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't fall. The touches were so good and he felt the build, taking him higher and higher, but no matter what he did, he couldn't make himself come. He panted harder, scared, mind gone, that he was going to be taken to the top of his pleasure but with no release. He wanted it so bad. He wanted to come. He felt his butt rise and fall, up and down his mattress, hips simply rutting into his fingers now, animalistic and wild.

Dib knew what he had to do. When he was doing this, when his body just couldn't cooperate with what he wanted, there was only one way to make it release.

With his eyes still closed, Dib thought about the one thing that made him feel fire his belly and burning in his heart. Green skin, red eyes, cruel laugh, he brought up images of his arch enemy in his mind's eye. Before, he would have to pull up photographs, but, to his great eternal shame, he had done that so often he didn't need photos anymore. His brain could recall every last detail of the small alien, right from the bottom of his feet to the tip of his antennae. Dib had a reoccurring fantasy, and he knew it was something he absolutely didn't want in real life, something he never wanted to actually happen, but it was a fantasy and it was what got him off, so he let it play out in his mind.

He could imagine Zim here, in his bedroom, staring at him. Watching him touching himself, desperate, in tears, rocking into his slim fingers and gasping and begging. In the fantasy, there was no one at home, so he allowed himself to be as loud as he wanted.

"Zim please," he imagined himself saying, "Please help me."

In his fantasy, Zim didn't talk much, he only responded with a , "Of course Dib," before walking over and moving Dib's hands out of the way. Dib knew, realistically, Zim would have no idea what to do and he'd probably run his mouth with all sorts of questions about the human body and would also probably insult him and make disparaging comments about how disgusting his body was, but in Dib's fantasy, Zim would know exactly what to do and would follow through with Dib's every need without asking what he wanted. Zim would just know.

He imagined gloved fingers dipping between his thighs, only moving the elastic as far as it was necessary, before he started to jerk Dib off. The touches would be nice and sweet, just the right amount of pressure and speed. Dib's legs would fall open and his thighs would shake, and then Zim would grab one of his pale legs to move it up onto his shoulder, pulling Dib's bottom flush against Zim's hips. Zim would love it. Zim would love looking down at Dib this way, loving the fact that he got to jerk Dib off, would love the way Dib's chest would rise and fall and his hips would bounce and he would especially love how Dib felt in his hands.

"Ohhhh god!" Dib would shriek, "Oh god oh god please oh yessss~"

Zim would only hum in response, pleased, with a sly smile dancing across his lips. He would lean down, avoiding Dib's breasts, kissing at his sternum and his neck.

"My handsome human," Zim would coo, "My handsome Dib. Do you like it?"

"Yes!" Dib howled, "You feel so good! You feel so goo~ood," Dib's mouth fell open and he rocked himself faster, "Your hands, I love your hands. Oh god let me come on your hands!"

"Yesssss," Zim would hiss, pressing his fingers harder on Dib's small cock, "You're almost there aren't you?"

"Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!" Dib shouted, couldn't barely even think of words to say. His hands were above his head, clutching the sheets, his toes were curling, thighs straining and shuddering, "Oh god oh Zim say I can come please I want to come let me come let me come please please please-"

"I have you," Zim would purr, "You can come. Come on Dib, I got you, you're safe, let go, I know you want to, please let me see you-"

And then Dib wailed, his back arched, and he came all over his own fingers, his legs spasmed and he felt wetness burst forth around his fingers. His orgasm seemed to go on forever, just one wave rolling after another. He guessed that he might have come a total of three times, making a mess all over his fingers and his boxers. Finally, with one last jerk, he fell square onto the bed, heaving. He didn't bother to move his hands from between his crotch. He was too tired and wiped out. He felt sweat gathering from under his legs and back, and he could feel himself beginning to cool down. His heart raced and then began to slow, and he knew he was starting to slip into the sweet depths of sleep.

That is, until he heard a very loud and obvious CLICK! From outside his bedroom window. Dib's eyes shot open and his eyes locked with his arch enemy. Holding an alien device that was surely some sort of camera.

Dib's heart stopped. Zim was grinning, and then he let a cackle burst forth from his lips and he jumped away, out of sight.

Dib was frozen for a few seconds, the first thoughts crossing his mind was, 'Oh my god, how long had he been out there? Was he watching the whole time? Did he even know what he was seeing? Did I say his name out loud?'

And then

"He saw me," Dib said out loud. He repeated himself again, "He saw me."

Dib without his binder, Dib with his hands between his legs, the dark patch of wetness smeared all over his boxer's crotch. Zim SAW him.

Dib's heart fell into his stomach, and then he started to hyperventilate.

"He saw me. Zim saw me. He saw me without- without my- he knows. HE KNOWS."

He couldn't breathe, his world was going dizzy, everything started to get smaller and smaller in his room and his mind started to pinch him tight and squeeze. Dib ripped his hands away from his crotch and pulled his blankets up and around his chest and he started to scream, "GAZ! GAZ! GAZ! GAZ PLEASE! HELP!" He knew he was crying, and his sister could probably hear it in his voice. He started to sob and his breathing stuttered and jumped as tears started to fall freely down his eyes.

He could hear Gaz start to hammer on his door, and he realized that he had locked it. He grabbed his shirt, wheezing, slipping it on and walking over to the door. Gaz greeted him, her mouth pulled into a wide frown, glaring.

"Dib, what is so important that you would interrupt me from my-" and then she stopped, registering what she was seeing.

Dib was a mess, tears and snot smeared all along his face, his breasts visible from his shirt and his boxers sticky.

"What happened?" her eyes widened.

"I was-" Dib stuttered, "I was-" he couldn't say it. He couldn't even stop crying enough to breathe.

Gaz grabbed his arms and led him into her room, sitting him down on her bed, closing the door behind her.

"What happened?" she repeated, "You're more upset than usual, what's going on?"

"It's- it's embarrassing," he gasped, sobs wracking his chest. Gaz started to reassuringly rub her hands up and down her brother's arms.

"It can't be more embarrassing than you being the only one who could talk to me about my period. You can tell me," she joked, trying to lighten the mood. This was the only thing Gaz could ever be nice to her brother about. This was a line she had never, ever crossed with him. Not when it came to his identity.

"I was on my bed," Dib let out in a strangled breath, "and I didn't have my…my binder on. Or my shirt. I was….mmmm…masturbating," he flinched. Gaz flinched along with him, not needing that image in her mind, but said nothing.

"And I was, I had my eyes closed, and I didn't notice, but Zim was outside my window, and he saw it, he took a picture of me, and he saw me. Zim saw me. He's…..he's going to tell everyone. He's going to tell everybody, and they're going to know, they're going to know that I'm a freak. And he has a picture of me! Gaz I- He has a picture of me like that." And Dib burst into tears again and sobbed, and Gaz pulled him close for a hug, rubbing circles on his back.

Gaz had always known Dib as her brother. Ever since they were little. Their father would tell them that they were sisters, but that always made Dib upset, and when they were alone, he would tell her, "I'm not your sister. I'm your brother. I know I am. Dad's just wrong. I know I'm your brother," and neither her nor Dib had known the implication of what he was saying, but they had both accepted it as the truth. Dib was always more drawn to the boy's clothes when they would go shopping. Dib demanded to have his hair kept short as toddlers. When they were out and about, strangers would get introduced to them, associates of their father, and he would cheerfully announce them as his two sweet little girls. And Dib would stomp his foot and throw tantrums, shrieking at their father, "I'm NOT a girl! I'm a boy!" And it happened enough times that their Dad stopped introducing them as his girls. They were now his son and his daughter, to keep Dib happy. Dib and Gaz. His children. Gaz suspected that Dad was convinced that Dib was just going through a phase, but if it was, he hadn't grown out of it. It wasn't until Dib started elementary school that he pulled his father aside, and told him, "I don't want them saying that I'm a girl. I'm a boy. Please tell them I'm a boy." And their dad conceded. This went on for years, until the time came that Dib was set to go to middle school, when they all sat down and talked.

"I'm a boy," Dib repeated once more to their father, face serious, "I know…I know that I was born differently, and that…..biologically…" Dib spat that word out like a curse, "….I'm a girl. But I know that's wrong. I know I'm a boy. I don't want to go by my birth name. I want to go by Dib. And I want to be introduced as your son, and I want you to…accept that. I don't want you to look at me and see your daughter. Can…." Dib was shy as he said this, "Can you do that for me?"

Professor Membrane was silent for one moment, just one moment, and then they could tell, through his high lab coat and his goggles, that he was smiling, "Of course son," he said proudly, "I've always wanted a boy. And now I know I've had one all along." Dib burst into tears, and even Gaz couldn't keep herself from getting emotional. And eventually it was 'My son this-" and "My son that-" and Gaz could tell, that even when their dad ignored Dib's fascination with the paranormal, it made Dib happy that he always took the effort to remind Dib that their dad knew he was his son. And when it came time for Dib to go through puberty, Professor Membrane was the one that booked all of Dib's appointments to go see specialists that would prescribe Dib the hormone blockers he wanted and several binders to keep him comfortable and happy at school. The one thing that their dad would never budge on was letting Dib go through transition surgery as a teen. Not until he was an adult, their dad said. The only real reason Dib seemed put off with that decision was that it was harder to run and keep after Zim while he was wearing his binders.

Other than themselves, no one else had ever known.

And now, Dib's secret was jeopardized because of some stupid alien who probably didn't even have any idea about what he had witnessed.

That was unacceptable.

"Are you going to be okay?" Gaz asked Dib, as he moved away from her.

"No…" Dib looked utterly heartbroken. "This is the worst thing he could have ever done to me," he whispered to himself.

A moment silence hung in the air, and Gaz pulled away and went to grab her jacket.

"I'll be back," she told him, zipping herself up.

"Where are you going?" Dib stuttered.

"I'll be back Dib," she growled, "Just hang out in here until I come back," she instructed.

"You're not- Gaz you're not!" he began to argue.

"Don't tell me what to do!" she hissed, "I'm going to handle this! Go to sleep or read a book or something. Call Dad. I don't care. Just stay out of my way!" And with that she marched out the door and slammed it shut behind her. Dib didn't make a move to follow after her, just pulled his sister's covers over himself and cried silently into her pillow. It smelt like sweat and her hair. It was comforting.

x-x-x

Zim didn't live far away from them at all, only a few blocks away, and she was there within the hour. She marched right up to the door and started banging her fists on the door.

"COME ON OUT YOU STUPID ALIEN!" Gaz shouted, "I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY TO YOU!"

The door opened and she stepped inside. Zim wasn't there to greet her, but his stupid robot was there, staring at the television. When it saw her, it started to shriek and cackle hyperactively.

"HI GIRL!" it screamed, "HI GIRL! HI GIRL! YOU WANNA PLAAAAY!"

"Where's Zim?!" Gaz snarled, fists at her side.

"MASTER IS IN THE LAB! LEMME TAKE YOU TO HIM!"

The robot walked over to one of the living room tables and pulled a lever. It turned into an elevator, and entrance Gaz had seen and taken before. He guided her into the platform and they made their descent into the underground labs. Gir giggled to himself the entire time. Gaz didn't even have the patience to growl at him. Best to save her rage for the green moron.

The reached a room, and Gir walked up to it and opened it for her, and she stepped past him into the lab. She could already hear Zim laughing diabolically in the room. She followed the sound of his cackles until she found him. He was suspended on his spider legs and didn't even realize she was in the room with him.

"YES! VICTORY FOR ZIIIIMMM! With my INGENIOUS camera, I will be able to study the Dib-human's FILTHY anatomy and learn all of his WEAKNESSES! Zim is A GENIUS!"

Just as Gaz expected. He hadn't realize the severity of his actions. And she wasn't going to let him know.

"MAAASTER! THE GIRL IS HERE TO SEE YOU!" Gir screeched, announcing their arrival. Zim turned around to look over at them and started to yell.

"GIR! WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT ALLOWING DISGUSTING HUMANS IN OUR BASE!? ESPECIALLY THE DIB'S SISTER! COMPUTER! INTRUDER ALERT!"

"Give me the photos of Dib you took," Gaz stated calmly, swatting off a robot arm that had ascended on her from the ceiling.

"And why would I want to do that? I will learn his weaknesses and there is nothing you can do to stop me!"

"The reason why you're going to give me those photos is because you're going to be in very, very, big, trouble."

"Hmmmm? Stop speaking in riddles pathetic Gaz-creature! Speak plainly! ZIM COMMANDS YOU!"

Gaz's eyes twitched, her mouth twisting into a wider frown.

"Because, it's not me or even Dib you're going to worry about if anyone else finds out you have those photos. All it takes is one phone call from my dad and the human authorities will be here to investigate you."

Zim retracted his spider legs and the retreated into his PAK. His feet hit the ground in a silent thud and he walked over to her. "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ZIM HAS DONE NOTHING THAT WOULD WARRANT AN INVESTIGATION FROM YOUR DISGUSTING HUMAN AUTHORITIES! YOU ARE FULL OF LIEEESSS WORM BABY!"

"That's right," Gaz growled, stepping into Zim's space, "I'm a human worm baby. A baby. I know you're an adult Zim. And I know that you know what babies are. They're little children. I'm a human child. And Dib is also a human child. And on Earth, it is a very serious crime to take pictures of human children without their clothes on. A crime you can go to JAIL for. I'm telling you this for your OWN GOOD really. I don't HAVE to tell you this. But if you give me those photos and delete any more that you have taken of my brother, I can walk away now and we can forget this ever happened. Do you understand?" Gaz said as she snarled her last sentence."

"How do I even know that you're telling the truth Dib-sister? Eh? You can be lying just to protect your HORRIBLE brother!"

"Check it for yourself if you don't believe me, but I'm not lying," Gaz sneered.

Zim frowned at her, then bared his teeth. Finally he shouted. "COMPUTER! Look up what human laws on having photography on NUDE children!"

"Finnneee…." The computer responded, "Processing. The possession of child pornography is a criminal offense in 54 countries, regardless of intent to distribute. It can be punishable with a maximum sentence of five years, while distribution can be punishable with a sentence of ten years."

Zim snarled, looking back at Gaz, "So what? In three months, your disgusting brother will reach the age of adulthood in your pitiful species. It won't matter by then!"

"It doesn't matter how old he is when you get caught you horrid little bug!" Gaz screamed, "All that matters is that you took the pictures without his consent while he was underage! Delete those pictures, or else I'll MAKE you delete them!"

"Ughhh!" Zim growled, "FINE! BUT THIS ISN'T OVER! Three months is nothing compared to an IRKEN! I'll just wait again! And then I'll learn all of your brother's VULNERABLE secrets! VICTORY FOR ZIM!"

"I'm not leaving until I watch you delete them," Gaz crossed her arms, expression dark. Zim shot her an equally dark look and spat, "WHATEVER! Get over here and watch then!"

Zim strode over to the computer, and clicked a few keys. Within moments, images of her naked and vulnerable brother appeared on the screen. Gaz squinted, not wanting to focus on the pictures any more than she had to. She peered at her brother's face, and made it a point to not look at anything else. Zim pressed a few more keys and then all the pictures began to disappear.

"THERE! ARE YOU HAPPY?! They're all gone! NOW LEAVE MY BASE BEFORE I VAPORIZE YOU! GIR! ESCORT THIS WRETCHED CREATURE OUT!"

And Gir ran over, hooting happily, before grabbing her hand and leading her out. Gaz shot Zim another evil look and muttered just low enough that Zim could still hear her.

"I'll be watching you," she said, and then stepped back onto the elevator.

x-x-x

When Gaz returned home, the house was silent, so she walked up the stairs and into her bedroom. She could see Dib under her covers and fast asleep. There were dry tear tracks on his face. She put her hand on his shoulder and jostled him gently.

"Hey, wake up. Wake up moron. You're going to order me Bloaties," she told him.

"What? Gaz? You're back," Dib peered up at her, blinking.

"Yes," she told him, grabbing his glasses from her nightstand and handing them too him, "Get up, wash your face, and then you're ordering us some Bloaties. I'll be waiting in the kitchen when you're done," and with that, she turned and walked out of her bedroom. She didn't need to look to know her brother was following her orders. Not ten minutes later, Dib was entering the kitchen, face scrubbed raw and bound once more under his shirt. He went to sit next across from her on the table while she played her game.

"What did you do?" he asked her.

"Zim deleted the photos. He doesn't have any idea what he saw. You don't have to worry about this happening again."

"Gaz, I….I don't know how to thank yo-" Dib started before Gaz cut him off, "When's the pizza getting here?" she asked.

"Um, in like ten minutes I think. They know our address by heart."

"Okay," Gaz nodded, "That's all the thanks I need. You're welcome."

Dib stared at her in silence, just listening to his sister's game making background beeping noises and eight bit music. After several moments, Gaz spoke up again.

"You know, if you really are worried about everyone finding out, you could always beat them to the punch," she said.

"What?" Dib asked, eyes wide.

"I know you don't want people to know, and that's okay, it's your business. But if this sort of thing happens again, I don't want you to freak out like you did today. The best thing would be to just tell people, if only for your peace of mind."

"I can't do that," Dib shook his head, "People think I'm a freak enough as it is. This would just prove it," he said solemnly. Gaz banged her fist against the table.

"Listen to me Dib, you ARE a freak. But this isn't what makes you one. You're weird because you talk too much and you obsess about aliens and bigfoot. Not because you're a boy. That's the one normal thing about you. So I don't to hear you say that again. Because even I know you don't believe that."

Dib glanced at his sister's angry expression, and he smiled softly.

"Okay Gaz, whatever you say," and Gaz grunted, "You should know by now that I'm ALWAYS right Dib. Now, get the cups out, pizza should be here soon." And she went back to her game.

Bloaties arrived, they ate their pizza, and then Dib went back upstairs to do his homework or work on his paranormal science stuff or whatever. Gaz shuffled to her room, and grabbed her phone from her desk. She called her dad and waited for him to pick up.

"This is the Professor's personal cell line. How can I direct your call?" A cheerful woman's voice answered.

"This is his daughter. I need to talk to my dad. It's urgent."

"One moment Gaz," the woman replied happily, knowing the professor's children's names by heart, and there was only a few seconds of music before there was a click.

"HELLO DAUGHTER!" Professor Membrane said happily, "I only have a few minutes before I need to go back to work! It's almost time for bed! Did you brush your teeth?"

"Yes," Gaz growled, "Dad, something bad happened today, it's about Dib."

"What's wrong? Is he hurt? Daughter, you know if either of you are hurt you should call the HOSPITAL. That's the scientific decision to make!" he told her.

"No, he's fine. There was an incident. Dib's stupid green friend showed up today without Dib knowing and he walked in on Dib….changing. He saw everything. Dib is really upset right now. I talked to his….friend, but I think you should try to come home and see him. I think it would cheer him up. Plus he's worried that his friend might start….going around and telling people," Gaz said.

"I see," the Professor answered, "I'll see what I can do. I'll tell Simmons to change my schedule as much as he needs to. If I'm not home tomorrow, I'll be back as early as this Friday. Is he really fine?" he asked.

"I calmed him down some," Gaz said, "But I know he's really freaked out. I think you should talk to him about telling other people."

"We'll see," her father told her, "I have to get back to work now, but I'm glad you called me about this daughter. I'm very proud of you for taking care of your big brother today when I wasn't home. I'll see you as soon as I can. Now it's time for you to go to sleep young lady! Sleep will help your mind focus and better prepare yourself for your education!"

"Fine Dad," Gaz huffed, and then hung up on him. They weren't a very "I love you," kind of family, but they showed affection when they could.

Finally, Gaz shrugged on her PJs and crawled into her bed, and went to sleep.

x-x-x

For Dib, when he woke up the next morning, his stomach was filled with dread. He didn't want to go to school, but he knew he had too. What if Zim told people? But that was stupid. Zim could hardly tell the difference between a cat and a dog. No way would he be able to tell the difference between…..a boy and a girl. He even still referred to their old middle school teacher as 'Sir!' when they saw her slithering down the hall.

He had nothing to worry about really. Nothing was going to change. Nothing was going to happen.

Oh how wrong he was.

When Dib got to school, everything was normal. Morning class went off without a hitch, Zim didn't even say anything. They had first break, second class, and nothing was said or mentioned.

It wasn't until Lunch.

It wasn't until Lunch that everything went to hell.

Dib was sitting next to his sister, eating the packed lunch she had made for the both of them. He could tell she was trying to comfort him in her own little Gaz like way. Honestly, he'd do the same for her if anything ever upset her. Hardly anything did, and if it did happen, she usually was able to handle it herself with no outside help. So he was eating his lunch and Gaz was playing her game, when at the adjacent table, Zim leaped up onto the surface and pointed a clawed finger at him. He screamed.

"DIB HUMAN!" Zim shouted, and Dib jerked up to look at him, mouth full of PB and J.

"I HAVE SOMETHING TO ASK YOU!" Zim yelled, "WHY DO YOU HAVE BREAST TISSUE LIKE THE REST OF THE FEMALE WORM BABIES? AND WHY DO YOU HIDE THEM?! ZIM DEMANDS TO KNOW!"

Dib's world teetered out of control as he swallowed his food roughly and started to choke. He blinked back tears and realized everyone was looking at him. Hundreds of pairs of eyes were looking at him, waiting for his reaction.

"I-I-" Dib stuttered, before firing back, "I have no idea what you're talking about Zim!"

Gaz had lowered her game, setting it on the table and began to stand. She walked around the table and stood in front of her brother.

"Shut your mouth you fucking moron!" Gaz shouted, and everyone was really staring now. No one had really ever heard Dib's sister ever speak, nonetheless actually scream and swear.

"YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT ZIM SPEAKS OF! I WANT TO KNOW! WHY ARE YOU HIDING THOSE DISGUSTING SACKS OF FLESH? WHAT IS YOUR MOTIVE? DO YOU PLAN TO DESTROY ZIM WITH YOUR HIDDEN FEMALE APPENDEGES?"

Dib visible shook, his eyes darting to other people in the lunch room, shaking his head, face red, "No….no…no it's not….not what you think…."

"YOU IDIOT!" Gaz roared, running directly at Zim, reaching up to grab him by the collar and throwing him to the ground, "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!"

"UNHAND ME FILTHY FLESHY FEMALE CREATURE!"

Dib was standing, backing away from the lunch table, tears streaming down his eyes. The kids around him were starting to whisper. He was shaking. They were talking about him. They….they were figuring it out.

"Hey Dib!" someone shouted. Dib couldn't even figure out who. He whipped his head around to look. He couldn't see.

"What is Zim even talking about? You're not a girl are you!?" the voice said, but it was taunting. He heard it. It was going to happen. They were going to gear up for bullying. He couldn't do anything to stop it.

"No! No! NO NO NO!" Dib cried, "Shut up! Shut up! Don't look at me!" and then he turned to make a dash out of the lunch room.

Meanwhile, Gaz was busy trying to slam Zim's skull into the floor.

x-x-x

Gaz found Dib in the nurse's office, after she had received a scolding from the principal about how attempted murder on a fellow student was something that was looked down upon at the school and she was given a week's worth of detention and a phone call to her father. Gaz didn't care. She was pretty sure that Zim was suffering from a concussion while he ran home with his proverbial tail between his legs. It was nothing less than what he deserved.

She sat down next to her brother while he sobbed quietly, knee's drawn up and his arms encircling them. He didn't even look up at her. She didn't attempt to comfort him. She doubted it would help. So she just sat quietly next to him, until he moved one of his hands to hers, and laced their fingers together. She gave him a reassuring squeeze and remained silent.

Finally, the nurse came into the room, smiling wide, "Your father has just arrived to take you both home. Have a nice day dears," and she shooed them both out. Professor Membrane was standing at the door, a worried look across his brows.

"Let's go children," he told them, reaching his hands out for both of them to take. Gaz took her father's hand, and Dib mirrored her, and he walked them both out, silent.

They reached the family car, and when they were both buckled in, Gaz in the front seat, did their father pull out of the parking lot and spoke.

"I got quite the dressing down today from the principal children," he started, "Usually you're both so well behaved, so I'd rather hear from the both of you about what happened today before I decide how to punish you."

Dib didn't say anything, he just kept staring at his hands. Gaz turned to look at her father, lips pulled in a sneer.

"Dib got outed."

"What?" Professor Membrane asked, "How? Was it the green foreign boy you told me about yesterday?"

"You TOLD him!?" Dib shouted.

"What do you think you ding dong?" Gaz shouted from her seat, turning to look at him, "You were a mess! I can't deal with you by myself! I wanted dad's help!"

"You didn't have to tell him about what Zim did! What ELSE did you tell him huh!?"

"Dib!" Professor Membrane rose his voice, "Do not speak to me like I'm not here. I'm your father!"

"I WOULDN'T KNOW!" Dib shouted, "YOU'RE NEVER HOME."

"Son," their father sighed, "I'm sorry. I wish I can be with you more. And I know how frustrated you must feel right now, but that doesn't mean I deserve this kind of back talk from you."

"You don't know anything," Dib sniffed, clearly crying, "You don't know anything about me. You act like you deserve to be respected by me, but as far as I'm concerned, you haven't done anything to earn my respect."

At that, Professor Membrane was silent, and Gaz seethed from her seat, all the way home. They exited the car and walked inside the house. Gaz shoved at Dib when they walked inside, "You're so selfish!" She snarled, "Dad does everything for us and you act like he should be leaning down to kiss your ass! You can be a real jerk sometimes!"

"Whatever," he grumbled, "I'm going to my room. And hopefully my ceiling will collapse on me and I'll die."

"Hmmph," Gaz sneered, "Hope you get your wish. See if I care."

x-x-x

Gaz followed her father to the kitchen, where he was sitting, one hand pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Gaz," he said, upon hearing her enter, "Do you think I'm a bad father?"

Gaz was silent, pursing her lips, "You're doing your best," she told him, and then shrugged her shoulders, "And Dib's just being a little shi…. Poop." She corrected herself, "He's mad now, but he'll get over it."

x-x-x

As soon as Dib reached his room, he unlocked his window and climbed out. Once he hit the grass, he started to run. It hurt to run with his binder still on, but he clenched his teeth and bared it. He ran all the way to Zim's house, running past the gnomes, and then kicked the door in. By the time he walked inside he was winded.

"What are YOU doing here in my base Dib-thing!?" Zim screeched from the couch. Gir was wrapping a bandage around his forehead, and Dib could see that one of his antennae was bent.

"I should have told you," Dib said.

"Eh?" Zim tilted his head.

"I should have told you, as soon as you took my picture. You didn't know what you were seeing and I should have just told you. Now my life is over."

"EH?" Zim shouted, "What are you babbling about Dib-stink? Are you dying? Have I unknowingly caused the destruction of your pitiful existence? VICTORY FOR ZIM!"

"No you idiot!" Dib growled, "I can't believe I was scared of you- of all people. All you did was make my….my school life more difficult from now on. And you're going to be annoying about it later so I might as well tell you because now that everyone else knows, and you're the only person I can….I can out myself too. You took that choice away from me so I'm doing it now."

"You speak nonsense Dib-filth," Zim pointed a finger at him, "I do not understand what you mean about 'outing yourself'. Your human terminology is ridiculous."

"Goddamnit Zim, shut up and pay attention. This is important," Dib stomped his foot, "I'm trying to tell you that I'm a transgender boy."

"Eh?" Zim said once more.

"Oh my god have mercy," Dib pinched the bridge of his nose, barring an uncanny resemblance to his father, "You were right Zim. About me having….female breast tissue. When I was born, the doctors assigned me as a female, because I had female sexual organs. But when I got older I knew they were wrong, and I knew I was a boy. No one else knew, except my sister, and my dad. And that's the word for what I am. A trans boy. And it's looked down upon in human society. People call you a freak, and disgusting, and wrong. So that's what you did to me. You let everyone know that I was a trans boy and now I'm not….I'm not safe anymore. So congrats Zim. You're right. You may very well have caused me to get killed."

"EH?" Zim said, "Dib-human, I don't understand. Do you mean that you are not a HYUMAN male? You're actually a FEMALE?"

"NO!" Dib shouted, "I'm NOT a girl! I'm a boy!"

"Your human sexes confuse Zim!" Zim shouted, "Irkens do not have your filthy HYUMAN 'genders'! All Irkens are created the same and that's why the Irken race is CLEARLY SUPERIOR!"

"Nonbinary," Dib said.

"Eh?" Zim asked.

"Nonbinary. Irkens are nonbinary."

"You are confusing Zim now Dib-human," Zim narrowed his eyes, "Get out of my base before I throw you out myself!"

"Fine," Dib muttered, "I don't know why I came over here now. I was hoping that you would understand, and maybe that would bring us…. Doesn't matter anymore. It was a stupid thought anyway."

And Dib left and all Zim could feel was confusion.


	2. Solidarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib attempts to bridge the gap between himself and Zim....

The next morning, Dib heard a knock on his door, he rolled over and opened his eyes, groaning.

"Come in," Dib said, and the door opened, revealing Professor Membrane. He looked….nervous.

"Good morning son," his father said, "How are you feeling today?"

Dib grumbled, and averted his eyes, pulling his bedspread tighter around him.

"Well, I just wanted to let you know, that I called the school and informed them that you wouldn't be attending class today. I'm going to take your sister and when I return, I'll make you some breakfast. How does that sound?"

"Fine," Dib said weakly, and he rolled over and shut his eyes.

"I'll be back soon son, try to be up by the time I return," and with that, Professor Membrane closed the door.

True to his word, Membrane returned home and Dib was downstairs, dressed and waiting. He had his arms crossed at the kitchen table and he was frowning.

"Hello son," his father said, "What do you feel like having? How about some pancakes?"

"Sure," Dib said, head down, "Sounds okay."

Membrane cooked, and Dib remained silent. It took a total of twenty minutes for the food to be done.

When Dib was served, Membrane spoke up, "Tell me what to do."

"Huh?" Dib asked, confused.

"You're hurt," his father said, "And I don't know how to fix it."

"I don't think this is something you can fix dad," Dib told his father, "Unless you happen to have a machine that will erase everyone's memor- No I know that face. Don't build a memory erasing machine."

"The possibility for such a device had been a conceptual idea for a while now…."

"No, stop. I'm going to deal with it. I'm pretty sure the kids at school won't treat me any worse than they already do," Dib sighed.

"I can pull you out," his father suggested.

"What?"

"If you really wanted, I'll remove you from that school and move you somewhere else," Professor Membrane said seriously, "Or you can have a private tutor. Or you can intern in my labs. If that's what you wanted to do."

Dib thought about it. He'd been going to school with the same kids for years, since he was an adolescent. He knew all their names. He could almost remember every slight they ever gave him. He could meet new people, actually make new friends. Maybe actually learn something for once.

But then…..

He wouldn't be able to fight Zim anymore.

"No Dad, you don't have to do that," Dib answered.

'What am I doing?' Dib thought, 'I'm going to give up a chance at a new start? I'm going to give up a chance to have a proper education? Give up a chance to escape the inevitable ridicule at school?'

'All for that stupid alien?'

'Yes,' He thought, 'I'd give it up for that stupid alien.'

x-x-x

"You have to go to school today," Gaz flicked her brother in the forehead as she hovered over him in bed.

"No I don't," Dib rolled over, tightening the covers over himself, "Dad said I don't have to go to class this week,"

"I'm not Dad," Gaz growled, "It's going to be worse the longer you wait."

"Did anyone….say anything to you yesterday?" Dib asked his sister, and she grunted.

"No, no one said anything to me. Don't think you're that important enough for people to gossip about you. So get up. Don't you need to thwart Zim again, or something? You're not going to save the world sitting here feeling sorry for yourself," she pouted.

"Fine fine," Dib grumbled, "I'm getting up, meet me downstairs okay?"

"Mmmm," she growled, "Just hurry up,"

Dib dragged himself out of bed and walked over to his dresser, pulling out one of his binders. It was dark blue and had gold stitching. It was the nicest one he had ever gotten for himself, pretty and safe. He pulled it on and put on the rest of his clothes. But before he got his pants on, he reached behind his dresser and pulled out something he had squirrelled away a long time ago, knowing this is the first time he had ever considered using it. He held it in his hands, still wrapped in a brown paper bag, but the shape of it was distinguishable enough. He sighed heavily and pulled it out, and revealed that it was a pale silicone penis, not very realistic, but it didn't need to be. He had secretly gotten it when he first got into high school, ordered it online with his dad's card, without him knowing of course. Dib knew he didn't need it to be a man, didn't need it feel like a man, but the confidence boost wouldn't hurt. Dib pulled out the elastic in his boxers and tucked the fake penis between his legs, situating it until it looked right. He pulled on his pants and examined himself in the mirror. It didn't look noticeable, not to a stranger or a passerby anyway, but to Dib it was like he was looking at a different person. He smiled wide and bared a toothy grin. He was ready.

"Dib! Come on already!"

"Coming Gaz!" Dib shouted, and he grabbed one of his jackets and took two steps at a time down the stairs.

"Jeeze, you sure you don't need any more time your highness?" Gaz sneered.

"Yeah yeah, okay, let's just get this over with," Dib sighed.

"That's the spirit," Gaz said, knocking him once in the shoulder.

As soon as they walked out the door, they were greeted with a rather….unusual sight.

"Dib human!" Zim screeched in front of the siblings, waiting for them at the end of the side walk, "I'M HERE ON THE BEHALF OF YOUR HORRIBLE FATHER UNIT! He informed me that you were in need of hoo-man companionship and is under the impression that we are FRRREEINDS! And as such, has asked ZIM to escort you to school today if you were feeling able!"

"Oh whatever Zim, like my dad would ask you for anything!" Dib crossed his arms, "What are you really here for?"

"EH? EH? YOU DARE ACCUSE ZIM OF LYING? I SHOULD CARVE OUT YOUR FILTHY MOUTH RIGHT NOW!"

"I don't have time for this!" Gaz snarled, "Zim, walk with us, don't walk with us, I don't care. But if you start yelling again you're going to get a refresher on how hard I can hit! Understand?"

Zim growled lowly, but crossed his arms and ducked his head, allowing Gaz to walk in front of him so he fell behind to walk along side Dib.

Dib didn't bother to look at him, just squared his shoulders and stared straight ahead. But he could tell that Zim was still staring at him.

"What do you want really," Dib asked, "You've never done anything like this before, what are you planning? Going to try to embarrass me more than you already have?"

"Zim is confused," Zim spoke up, voice quizzical.

"That's new," Dib snorted. "What is it this time? Do you need me to go over what religion is again? Because I've done all I could Zim, you're on your own on that now."

Zim often asked questions about the human race about Dib, and if it was something harmless, usually Dib was gracious enough to answer. Dib held onto a fool's belief that maybe Zim would find human culture fascinating and he'd give up trying to take over the earth, but even Dib knew that was a lost cause. Zim usually asked about the most simplest things that were the hardest to answer anyway, like the explanation of internet memes or slang. Religion had truly been a doozy, considering how grounded in science and logic Zim's race seemed to be, well, as much as Dib could gleam from his interactions with Zim. He doubted that Zim was grounded in anything resembling reality really.

"What is gender?" Zim asked, "You humans seem to have two different words to describe your filthy biological organs that you use in order to mate and create more of your disgusting kind, but my research proves endless. Many 'outerweb' searches have your kind claiming a difference between sex and gender. What is it?"

"That's…..that's kind of complicated Zim," Dib shrugged, "It's a little difficult to explain. And to be fair, you don't really have a basic grasp on human sexuality to begin with-"

"How dare you insult the intelligence of ZIM!" Zim shouted, which earned him a snarl from Gaz in front of him, and Zim lowered his voice.

"I doubt your simple-minded planet has come up with a difficult concept that an Irken elite wouldn't be able to understand, you will explain to Zim,"

"Insulting my simple-minded planet isn't a really good way to make me answer any of your questions, space boy," Dib frowned, "But if you really want to know, you're going to have to wait til after school. And you owe me. Big time."

"Fine fine," Zim waved him off, "We will go over your terms then, but you will answer Zim's questions, and then Zim will be ONE STEP CLOSER TO RULING YOU PITIFUL CREATURES!"

"Shut up!" Gaz growled, "And we're here. Can you stop shrieking long enough to walk across campus without people staring at us you freak?!" She glowered.

"Haha," Zim laughed nervously, "Oh little Gaz. Always joking. Let us go now Dib," and he grabbed Dib's arm and hauled him away down the corrider.

"Zim let go!"

"No, Zim shall not, as you say, let go!" Zim snarled, "Your sister is needlessly terrifying, and it's unnerving to be around her for an extended period of time."

"My little sister makes you nervous," Dib chuckled, "I should bring her along to our fights more often,"

"You will do no such thing!" Zim snarled, "Every fight, every conflict, it's between you and ZIM. No one else may intervene onto our sparring of wits and strength!"

"Well Golly Zim," Dib said, bashfully ducking his head in a mocking manner, "I didn't know you were so possessive," and Zim chuckled, serious.

"Oh Dib, that is the first thing you should have learned about Zim. ZIM is possessive, and Zim does not share. Zim does not share his conquests, his victories, or his enemies. Now let us go to our wretched class. The sooner our dreadful SKOOL is over, the sooner you can answer ZIM'S questions."

Zim turned away in order to march into the classroom, which was just as well, because Dib began to blush furiously, trying to hid it by wiping at his nose. He didn't notice someone coming up behind him until the unsuspecting hand jostled him.

"Ooooh Dib, still acting like a love struck fool that doesn't know if he should kiss the girl he likes or pull on her pigtail," Zita laughs, knocking Dib into the wall, she turns to look at him, "You know Dib, this alien thing is getting pretty old, don't you think? You really should just kiss Zim and get it over with," and she grins, twirling a violet tendril in between her fingers, walking into the classroom.

"It's not- I-" Dib stutters, pushing his hands into his pockets and walking swiftly to the classroom.

He sits in the front, as always, and Zim sits in the back, as always, and that never fails to irritate Dib. Zim wised up to the classroom game a long time ago, and realized that Dib couldn't stare at him as often if Zim was sitting out of his line of sight. It took the alien about three years to realize that, but since then he had been able to get away with a lot more bullshit.

Dib's seat neighbor happened to be Torque Smacky, who transferred up the same classes alongside Dib. He had placed at the front of the class so he could pay better attention in school in order to keep his GPA up. At first Dib thought he'd be bothered by it, but it seemed Torque actually cared about his place on the football team, so he was usually quiet and thoughtful, and focused more on the teacher than he ever did on the other classmates when they decided to tease Dib in the classroom.

Torque was given Dib a rather befuddled look when Dib went to sit next to him. This went on for two seconds before Dib turned to look at Torque.

"Something interesting you Smacky?" Dib asked, and Torque grunted.

"Heard a weird rumor yesterday," Torque replied.

Dib's stomach dropped, and he sunk a little ways away from Torque.

"You did huh?" Dib frowned.

Torque's eyes seem to rake up and down Dib's body, before he shrugged, "Whatever. Stupid rumor anyway."

"Alright class, settle down," their teacher walked in, throwing her bag against her desk, "Dib, so nice of you to join us today. I understand you were sick yesterday?" she asked.

"Er….yes, very sick. I'm all better now though," Dib answered, hating every second of attention he was receiving at the moment.

"Uh huh," she said, "Your father assured the faculty you wouldn't be well enough to return to us for at least a week."

"Well, obviously not. Since I'm all better," Dib gulped, sinking into his seat.

"TEACHER!" Zim screamed from the back, "SIR! ARE WE GOING TO BE TURNING IN LAST NIGHT'S HOMEWORK NOW!"

"Well, that's the first time I've ever seen you this enthusiastic about turning in your assignments Zim," the teacher smirked, turning her gaze away from Dib, "But alright. Everyone pass your papers forward. And then get out your textbooks and turn to page 189, and we'll continue our discussion on the Industrial Revolution, a truly barbaric and terrible mark on human history."

And any mention of Dib's absence was soon forgotten.

x-x-x

At lunch, Dib hesitated before walking in. Zim caught him at the entrance, pacing, and he marched over, "Come along Dib beast," Zim said aloud, "We can discuss our terms for our discussion while you fuel your disgusting body with more of your disgusting human sustenance." And Zim grabbed Dib by the arm and dragged him into the line. Zim was silent the rest of the way, but Dib was just plain confused.

Was Zim…..was Zim trying to make him feel better?

That was impossible.

When they sat down, Zim pulled out a brightly covered wrapper out of his PAK and tore it open with his teeth. It looked like Fun Dip but the sugar looked like crystals and they shimmered in the light.

"Is that some sort of weird alien snack?" Dib asked, and Zim glowered, "Of COURSE NOT STINKY HUMAN. THIS IS A HOOMAN SNACK. BECAUSE I'M HUMAN! UH HUH. I SURE AM HUMAN. I HAVE TWO EYES!"

"Okay Zim, fine, human snack. No one is paying attention to you, you know, to my constant frustration. What is it? Can I have some?"

"NO!" Zim shouted, turning his body to place his meal behind his back, "UM….IT IS ALL MINE. YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY! HAHAHA! OH HOW MUCH YOU MUST DESIRE ZIM'S DELCIOUS SNACK FOODS. OH YOU CRAVE IT! BUT NONE YOU SHALL HAVE!"

"Zim, god, okay, fine, I won't try your weird food," Dib sighed, going back to his lunch.

Zim ate his Fun Dip and placed it back in his PAK, wiping at his mouth and then licking at his gloves. Dib grimaced.

"That's pretty gross," Dib wrinkled his nose.

"Mind your own business human," Zim growled, "Zim will eat the way Zim wants to eat."

"Doesn't it taste weird?" Dib asked, when he noticed a group of kids were walking up to the lunch table.

"Hey Dib," one of the kids said. Dib didn't know any of their names. He only ever really paid attention to Zim and kids he grew up with. Everyone else was in the background. Everyone else seemed to know him.

"Hello," Dib answered back, and Zim turned around to look at the group, and he sneered, "Do you MIND?! ME AND THE DIB WORM WERE SPEAKING!"

"Ignore him," Dib cocked an eyebrow, "Can I help you with anything?"

"Yeah, we'd really like it if you left school." One of them said seriously.

"Ex-excuse me?" Dib asked, voice cracking.

"You being here is a bad influence on some of the younger kids," another teen spoke up, "It'd be understandable if you were just a dyke, but we draw the line at letting he-she's walking around the school."

"What did you just say to me?" Dib's voice wavered, voice rising, "I can report you to the principle for speaking to me like that," he shook in his seat. Zim looked between the exchange, confused.

"Look, we don't want to make the any more difficult than it has to be," the first kid said, "To be honest, you're not really the worse offense, a girl trying to be a boy, but it won't be long before the reverse happens, and it's pretty sick and perverted. So you can pretend to be what you want, but you can't do that here."

Dib stood up and shoved the lunch table a few inches, and the high pitched shrieking it made across the cafeteria floor caught everyone's attention. A silence swept across the room and Dib drew himself to full height, puffing out his chest.

"You want to come over here and say that to my face?" Dib snarled, not believing the words that were coming out of his own mouth. He had never, ever got into a fight with another student. But Dib was seething, fists at the ready. He could feel all eyes on him, and whispers behind his back began to get louder.

"Did you hear what those kids called Dib?"

"Yeah, they called him a he-she,"

"They called Dib a girl,"

"I heard them say Dib was a dyke,"

"Oh man don't they know?"

"Dib's been fighting with that green kid since middle school,"

"They're toast," the students began to snicker.

And Dib felt his confidence growing.

"We don't want to fight," one of the kids puffed his own chest out, trying to square up to Dib, "We just want you to stop pretending at school, and tricking everyone into thinking you're something you're not."

"You don't want to fight huh?" Dib, snarled, "Buddy, that's exactly what you're going to get."

"KICK HIS ASS DIB!" Someone screamed from the sidelines, and then everyone began to scream as Dib lunged forward and tackled one of the boys to the ground.

"Beat that queer to the ground Meeka!" one of the other boys started to shout, but Dib had been holding his own against alien menaces, ghosts, and demons from another dimension since he was twelve.

And he had been holding his own very, very well.

Dib pined the boy to the ground, straddling him, and knocked him out with two punches. Once he was out for the count, another boy jumped in and tackled Dib. It took him the better part of five seconds before Dib was knocking the kid flat on his ass. And then behind Dib, there was shrieking. Furious and high-pitched shrieking.

"YOU DO NOT TOUCH HIM. HE IS ZIM'S. HE IS MINE AND HE IS ZIM'S. YOU DO NOT TOUCH WHAT IS ZIM'S!" And like a bat out of hell, Zim flew off his seat and on to the nearest boy from the group, clawing at his face and letting out a blood-curdling roar.

"Who the hell is touching my brother!" Another voice snarled from behind the throng of kids. Gaz pushed to students out of her way and grabbed the boy that Dib had punched to the floor. She grabbed him by his labels and hoisted him to his feet. She stared into his eyes, and he stared back as well as he could, as one of his eyes was already bruising and swelling up.

"You tell your buddies that if they ever lay a hand on my brother again they'll be answering to me, you got that?" Gaz snarled, "You don't look at my brother, you don't talk to my brother, and if you so much as breathe on my brother, I will come for you. And I'll make you wish you were never born." The boy started to nod rapidly and Gaz pushed him away, sneering.

Dib pried Zim off his victim and the rest of the group walked away, licking their wounds. Zim grinned wildly, "And they will think twice before touching the property of ZIM!" and Dib smiled back. A couple of kids walked over to Dib to smack him on the back. It was Brian and Poonchy, students from Zim and Dib's original sixth grade class.

"You sure showed them Dib," they jeered, laughing. Sarah walked by as well, grinning, "Well, duh, Dib and Zim are crazier than a tree full of howler monkeys. You'd have to be stupid to try and fight them," she smiled maliciously.

"Those kids were from North Side elementary anyway," Brian sneered, "Nothing but losers and snobby assholes come from North Side. Main Side kids have to stick together."

"DIB! ZIM! REPORT TO THE PRINCIPLE'S OFFICE IMMEDIETLY!" the intercom shrieked, causing everyone to look up.

"Hey Dib, don't sweat it. We'll totally back you guys up. Those dickholes were the ones who started it,"

"Yeah Dib, we got your back. You too Zim," they said cheerfully.

"This is the second time this week you're both in my office for a fight," the principle scolded them, "This time, shockingly, it's because you were fighting other people rather than each other. Care to explain."

x-x-x

"Those kids came up to me at lunch time sir, and started to begin a spiel of hate speech and transphobic slurs," Dib kept a straight face, "They told me that my identity was disgusting and that I was perverted, and that I need to leave this school before I began to corrupt the other students by my actions. They also called me a dyke, a he-she, and a queer." Dib pulled his mouth into a straight line, "I knew it was wrong to get into a fight with them, but I felt that the manner in which I was provoked required immediate action. That action being my fist into their faces. Sir."

"That would be incorrect Dib," the principle frowned, "We consider ourselves to be a very tolerant institution, but I'm afraid your actions, however justified they may be, violates our code of conduct. I'm afraid I'll have to suspend the both of you."

"But sir!" Dib started to interject, while Zim seemed to be more interested in his gloves.

"Mr. Membrane," the principle sighed, "You are a good student, and I've let your fights slide time and time again. Mostly due to the fact that you mostly engage in fights with our foreign student, and because his parents never badger us to met out a punishment. But the three boys you got into a fight with today have parents who are demanding that you both be punished. Now, I'm not a biased man, so those boys will also receive a suspension. I've very disappointed with what happened today, but I assure you, I will do everything in my power to ensure that something like this doesn't happen again. You're both excused. Your parents should be here to pick you up."

Dib grumbled, walking out of the room, with Zim trailing behind him. Sure enough, outside of the office, Professor Membrane stood in the hall, along with Zim's Robot Parents and Gaz.

Gir was also here to pick Zim up, apparently.

"HEY MARY!" Gir shrieked, and Zim shot a glare at Gir and Gir exploded into a litany of insane giggles.

Professor Membrane glances at Zim's dog, raising an eyebrow, "That dog has the strangest bark I've ever heard," he muttered to himself, before turning towards Dib.

"Well, son, it's best we go home now. Come along Gaz, you too."

"Hello Son!" Robo-Mom tittered gleefully at Zim, "It's time we get you home too! Brush your teeth!"

"Actually Mom!" Zim bounced on one leg, "Today I've been hurt very emotionally by some of the disturbing things that were said today by other students! Is it alright if I go home with my Dib friend?"

"Oh, I don't know sweetie! You should really be going home!"

"Oh, let's just let the boy go honey!" Robo-Dad intervened, "He should be spending more times with friends anyway!"

"A fine idea Mr. and Mrs…..?" Professor Membrane trailed off.

"Mom and Dad!" They replied happily.

"Momanddad what a unique last name! I think it's a splendid idea for our boys to interact more with each other after such a trying day!"

"Oh my god dad," Dib muttered, "Inviting the enemy into our home? Please let's not-"

"SLUMBER PARTY!" Gir shrieked "I'LL ORDER THE PIZZA!"

"Pizza? I'm in," Gaz mumbled, "Let's just go already."

"See you later son!" the Robo-parents called out, and Zim saluted them both before he marched into the parking lot after the Membrane family and into their car.

"Since when do you ever want to hang out with me Zim?" Dib said under his breath, crossing his arms.

"Zim still has question," Zim whispered, "And Zim isn't going to wait any longer. We will go to your place of residence and then you will explain all to Zim."

"Ugh, fine, but you're responsible for whatever mess your evil robot dog thing makes."

"Ah, yes yes, of course."

x-x-x

"Now children, I must rush off to work now, Dib, I'll scold you later, Gaz, make sure all the doors are locked when I leave, and foreign boy, we have a doggie door you can use for your strange green pet. Help yourself to anything in the fridge, and have fun kids. I'm off!" and with that Professor Membrane slammed the door behind him.

"Dad is so interchangeable," Gaz sighed, "Hey, Zim's weird dog. Hurry up and order us a pizza already."

"Well, while you partake in that disgusting earth meal of cheese and meat, me and Dib shall converse upstairs," Zim grabbed Dib's arm and lead him towards the stair case.

"Oh come one Zim, I want some pizza too," Dib whined, but ultimately let Zim lead him up the stairs.

Zim effortlessly found his way to Dib's room and walked inside. Dib frowned.

"I'm only a little concerned on how you knew where my room was."

"Dib-bot, when you were 13. The one that almost caused your parental unit's machine of self-sustaining energy to explode and cause all of humanity to be wiped out, remember?"

"Right," Dib nodded, eyebrow raised, "You know, I've never been entirely sure how old you exactly are."

"Older than your father most likely," Zim waved him off, "But that's not important right now. It is time for the answering of the questions."

"Oh hold on, we haven't even discussed terms yet," Dib interrupted.

"Ugh fine, Zim swears not to doom your planet for….what? A week? Let's say a week."

"Two weeks. And you let me inside your lab without supervision for an entire day."

"LIKE BLARCH I WILL," Zim screamed, "You'll take the one week of peace and you'll like it!"

"Fine, two weeks of peace, and just half a day in your lab with your supervision," Dib countered.

"You can have your measly two weeks human, and that's my final offer."

"A week and a half of no dooming, and you let me inside your lab, walking me there blind folded, and I can look at things with no camera for an hour, under your supervision."

"Ehhhh, fine," Zim snarled, "Deal. Eleven of your pitiful days of no dooming, and you can look around my lab for exactly an hour without your wretched camera."

Zim stuck out his hand for Dib to shake, but Dib let out a chuckle, "Zim, you should know by now that I know how Irkens agree to deals. Human handshakes don't mean anything to you."

"Oh come on!" Zim growled, "How can you even- you don't even have any you stupid human! Ugh fine!" Zim stepped forward glowering, bumping his forehead to Dib's. Dib kept perfectly still, as he felt Zim's antennae lightly tugging on Dib's hair. After about three seconds, Zim moved away. "There, are you happy?" and Zim reached up to pet his antennae, pouting. "You got all your stinky earth smells on me now."

"Yes, I'm happy," Dib grinned. "Okay, first, what do you want to know?"

"As I am understanding, humans have two sexes," Zim began, "biologically, there are males and females, who come together to copulate and produce young. Zim also realizes there are individuals which are classified as intersex and possess both male and female genitalia," Zim nodded to himself, "But this is the area in which Zim becomes confused. It seems in this society, humans place importance on each other's genitalia and create social constructs around it. For instance, Zim has noticed that humans that possess the proper genitalia to pass young are often treated like the weaker and less important of the species, while the humans that possess the genitalia to impregnate their partners are treated far more revered in society, and are seen as stronger and smarter. Zim is correct yes?"

Dib nodded, and stayed silent, so Zim took that as a sign to continue, "However, in my research, Zim has found no correlation between genitalia and muscle mass or brain power. So Zim is led to assume that this bias is social and prejudicial. Humans separate themselves by their genitalia and they use their genitalia to create a social hierarchy within themselves. Much like how other species create social groups within their own pack, and based on strengths and prowess, there is a dominant alpha leader and a submissive omega within the group. Humans seem to try to create that same hierarchy, but instead on basing it on anything substantial, like strength, knowledge, or height, they base it on what sexual organs they possess."

"Yes," Dib answered.

"Now, this is my biggest question: Why are humans so abominably stupid?"

Dib started to choke with laughter, and wiped his eyes, "God Zim, you should teach a sociology class. That was brilliant."

"Zim is still confused! You humans are so barbaric and backwards! Why place your kind's leaders at the top simply because of their ability to impregnate a partner? That makes no sense! How does that make sense?"

"It….god. It really doesn't Zim. Society is screwed up that way. And it's really not just sexes, there are heirarchies based on different races and sexualities. It's pretty messed up."

"So Zim has concluded, that your human society lives by the laws of this…..sexual binary system!" Zim continued, "Behaviors are enforced on your young based on their future abilities in creating their own young as they mature. Which is why Zim is confused on what….gender is? You humans have….created a word to somehow give meaning to the organs in between your legs! Zim is now under the impression that if you possess an organ to bear young, you are held to certain set of expectations and behaviors based on that organ. And the same is to be said the other way around! And despite Zim's best efforts, there appears to be no correlation between those organs and human behavior!"

"Zim, okay, okay! I get it. Humans are really weird. How do Irkens do it?"

"Eh?"

"You know, how do Irkens create their hierarchies."

"Well, the Irken system of hierarchy is logical is and based on substantial evidence of superiority and greatness!" Zim exclaimed happily, "No Irken is every really different from each other. The only difference lies therein our height. So our hierarchy is established on a height system. The Tallest rule, the smallest serve. It's a rather flawless system."

"Your leaders….are chosen because they happen to be taller than everyone else?"

"Yes!" Zim explained, "As smeets, Irkens go through the same basic training as foot soldiers, so we are all ensured the proper standard level of education, even though all knowledge of Irken history is loaded into our PAKS at birth. Once we hit our first SPURTS and begin to grow, does the selection process begin. Based on our heights, we are then filtered out into different areas of study. At the time of my SPURTS, I was taller than my generation of smeets, so I was first filtered to become an Irken pilot! I retained the regular interval of height growth, so I was moved from Pilot to Elite! However, shortly after, I stopped growing and the rest of my class grew taller without me. However, since I was already in Elite training, I was allowed to stay in my classes. After I was an Elite, I was moved to Weapons specialists on Vort. My Tallests were in the same classes I was in at the time, and they are actually three days my junior! However, age matters not to an Irken. They are my superiors because of their glorious feat of growing taller than any other Irken alive, and they are trained to be superior as such!"

"Fascinating," Dib said, wide-eyed, "Irkens have an entirely different level of operating than humans do. Like….completely different. "

"Hey!" Zim grunted, "I was supposed to be the one getting information, not you! You should owe me something for telling you about my BRILLIANT culture!"

"Tell you what Zim, I'll give you a big fat kiss as thanks for sharing your infinite wisdom with me," Dib said sarcastically.

"Fine," Zim said flippantly.

"What?" Dib's voice dropped.

"Zim knows not what a kiss is, but if Dib is offering, I shall graciously accept. Especially because it seems now you seem to regret making that offer," Zim snickered.

"Whatever Zim, just remember you're the one who said you'll take it," Dib mumbled, "But I'll give it to you later. Is there anything else you wanted to ask?"

"Yes," Zim nodded, "Zim wanted to clarify Dib's gender. Zim understands that Dib uses words that is often associated with humans who's genitalia is used to impregnate partners?"

Dib stumbled a bit, but for some reason, felt greatful for Zim's word choice. The other wise tactless alien managed to be rather….thoughtful.

"Yeah Zim. I refer to myself as a male and I use words like he and him, and I introduce myself as a boy to others."

"Zim also understand that there is a stigma of Dib choosing to use those words," Zim clarified.

"Yes, humans often frown upon other humans who use words that are not always associated with their….genitals."

"That's what the fight was about today, between those wretched stink beasts. They were trying to get the Dib to use words that Dib did not want to use."

Dib nodded, slowly.

"Zim also understands that Dib's body is structured to carry young." Zim continued.

Dib nodded once more. Zim nodded with him.

"Zim feels less confused now. Zim thanks the Dib for answering all of Zim's questions. One last question, before you may retire to your meal of cheese and meats. What exactly were you doing when Zim caught you unawares?" Zim's expression was curious and innocent. Dib wanted to run.

"Oh no. No way. That is an entirely different deal. I'm not answering that without more incentive." Dib shook his head.

"What! That is completely unfair! You will answer Zim's question!"

"If I have to sit here and talk to you about that, you're going to have to give me something. Big. Huge. Like…..your planet's coordinates. Or the schematics for your base's computer. There is no way I'm going to power through a conversation like that without getting something in return."

"FINE fine fine!" Zim shouted, "How about this: I'll fix Tak's ship for you."

"What? Really?" Dib paused. It hasn't worked since Christmas, four years ago. Dib deemed it a lost cause and now it was gathering dust in his father's garage.

"Yes, but this better be good. It better not turn out that you were just….I don't know. Something stupid. That a stupid human would do."

"Ughhhhhh oh my god," Dib put his face in his hands, mortified. On one hand, maybe Zim would have no concept or idea what Dib was going to explain to him. And a fixed ship. On the other, Zim would know exactly what Dib was doing. And be furious. And he would possibly die. Of either Zim's rage or his own embarrassment. But…..space….traveling past the stars and the galaxy.

It was so worth it.

"Okay, keep your voice down, and you can't breathe a word of this to anybody, do you understand?"

"Pffft, who would Zim tell?" Zim rolled his eyes.

"Your leaders, for one."

"What! That's a given! I tell my Tallest everything! Are you telling Zim that I cannot impart this secret to them?"

"Yes Zim! Yes, you cannot tell your leaders about what I was doing in my bedroom when you caught me in my skivvies! Now you swear Zim!"

"But-!"

"Antennae, now." Dib instructed.

"AUGH!" Zim knocked his forehead onto Dib's once more, wiggling his antennae and then pulled back, "Okay, done, Zim swears not to tell anyone what Dib is about to tell me. Now tell Zim!"

"Shush!" Dib hissed, red faced. And then he took a deep breath, played with the hem of his shirt, and muttered under his breath.

"iwsmsterbatin…." Dib clenched his teeth.

"What?" Zim quirked a nonexistent brow, "I didn't hear you."

"I was masturbating, alright?" Dib cringed, mortified.

Zim was silent for moment, then crossed his arms, "I have no idea what that's supposed to mean."

"I bet you don't," Dib glowered, "Look, you know all about human genitalia right?" Dib asked.

"Yes?" Zim answered.

"Okay, so, to humans, mating feels…..really really good. Like….awesome. It's basically the best feeling ever. We try to have it as much as we can, whenever we can. Usually we try to have it with each other. But mostly, you don't have to have a mate to simulate the feeling you get when you mate. So humans stimulate areas of our bodies that feel good to us, and if you do it right, humans…..well…..we orgasm. That's basically the end goal of most mating. Some people do it to bear young, but nowadays, there are ways around having young when you mate, so usually we do it in order to achieve orgasm. Which is the feeling you get while you mate and stimulate your genitalia. And when you do it to yourself, it's called masturbating. My body was high strung and I wanted…..release. So I stimulated…..oh my god this is embarrassing….. I stimulated my own genitalia in order to give myself an orgasm."

"Zim….feels like Zim understands a little," he said slowly, "But if you were simply making your body feel good, why do you feel embarrassment?"

"Because it's not something that's considered polite to talk about in public," Dib moaned, "It's a private thing, between yourself or other people involved. Humans don't mate in public, or masturbate in public, or walk around naked. It's a private activity."

"OH!" Zim suddenly gasped, "Zim understands! Dib was doing the Danca!"

Zim paused at his words, and then his antennae shot up, and then he screeched.

"Dib was doing the Danca!" he screamed, more to himself than to Dib, and he wailed, "AND ZIM WATCHED! DIB WAS DANCAOAN AND ZIM WATCHED HIM!"

"ZIM SHUT UP! THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU!"

"OH TALLEST SAVE ME ZIM DIDN'T MEAN IT!" Zim cried out in terror, "I DIDN'T KNOW!"

"PLEASE SHUT UP!"

"Tallest forsake me," Zim groaned, "Zim can't believe Zim watched a human pig smelly do the danca," and Zim fell forward and collapsed onto Dib's bed, face first.

"Zim is disgussstinnnnggg"

"Come on Zim, it's really not that big of a deal," Dib tried to reassure him. And failing.

"Zim is almost disgusting as you pig smellies."

"Okay, now I know you're exaggerating. Let's just leave it at this okay? Let's go downstairs," Dib suggested.

Zim huffed and sat up on the bed, adjusting his wig. He then squared his shoulders, "Before Dib runs off, Zim remembers Dib promising Zim a kiss?"

"Oh come on Zim, you're really gonna make me kiss you?"

"Yes. Hop to it." Zim sneered.

Dib breathed slowly through his nose, shut his yes and darted forward. He pressed his lips to Zim's forhead and then pulled back, shaking, "SEE YOU DOWNSTAIRS BYE!"

Zim was still sitting on the bed, stunned.

This week just kept getting more and more confusing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....bad idea Dib.


	3. Stockholm Syndrome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaz desperately tries to talk sense into her brother

Dib jumped down the stairs two steps at a time and found himself face to face with an odd scene. Gaz was sitting at the living room table eating her own slice of pizza, but what was odd about it was that Zim's evil alien dog thing was sitting on the floor beside her, noisily eating his own meal. Gaz turned to look at him and she shrugged her shoulders, "I told him he's not allowed to eat on the couch," she explained.

"And he listened to you?" Dib asked, slightly bemused.

"Eh," Gaz offered, sighing and going back to her food. Dib sauntered over and fell down onto the seat next to her, grabbing a slice of his own and began to eat. Zim came down the stairs a moment later.

"Bleh," Zim spat, "You're all disgusting. How you pig smellies can even handle the smell is beyond Zim," he grumbled.

"How can you even tell?" Gaz scoffed, "You don't even have a nose!"

"I smell with my tongue!" Zim countered, "Obviously! You humans are so narrow and closed minded that you think that everything must be done the same way you do it!"

"Says the alien invader that has come to enslave all of humanity," Dib muttered under his breath.

"Mouthy humans," Zim growled, "Come along now Gir. We're leaving. Zim has gotten what Zim came for. Dib-human, as for you, I will need time to prepare my lab for your arrival. I will call on you in the future for a convenient time. Now, ZIM LEAVES!" And with that, the small alien rushed from the house.

Dib cocked at Zim's exit, and went back to eating, shrugging his shoulders.

"So, did you guys go up there to make out or what?" Gaz snorted to herself.

"Gross," Dib stuck out his tongue, "No, he had some questions, we bartered, and I answered them."

"So all that noise Zim made was just simple innocent batter then?" Gaz squinted an eye at him.

Dib coughed and laughed, "Oh fine, he let me lay one on him," he admitted seriously.

Gaz was silent for a moment and then she hit her brother on his shoulder, "You're messing with me. Zim did not let you kiss him."

"He didn't know what a kiss was, so it really wasn't that big a deal," Dib blushed, "I made a sarcastic comment and he told me to do it. Besides, it was just a peck, nothing to get fussy over."

Gaz started to laugh under breath, shoulders shaking, "I knew this day would come."

"What day? Stop being such a smart ass Gaz," Dib protested.

"Uh uh! Dib, you got a crush on an alien!" She taunted.

"Oh god, shut up," Dib pinched his nose, "It's not like that and you know it."

"It IS like that, and YOU know it!" She fired back, "Face it Dib. Wake up and smell the pizza. You've loved the paranormal for years, and now the paranormal has a face, and that face is Zim's!" She cackled.

"Really Gaz? Teasing me over a 'boy?' Isn't that just a little bit middle school?" Dib grumbled.

"Oh whatever Dib, get over it. I'm just taunting you," she let out one last hiccup of a laugh, "Although, I can't believe he let you get that close to his face without biting you or something. I don't know if it's telling or not."

Dib decided to ignore her until he went up to bed.

x-x-x

Here he was again, back in his room, lying down on his bed. He had closed the blinds this time before he started to undress. And now, under the covers, without stopping to think about it, his hand dived into his boxers and he stroked his cock. There was no pretense of gentleness, or careful exploration. Dib was a man on a mission, that mission being that he needed to get off as soon as possible. Dib moved another hand up to his mouth and he moaned luxuriously over his fingers. There was no denying what he was thinking about right now.

Being close to Zim, talking to Zim, kissing Zim.

Christ, this was going to be his wank fodder for the next few months.

He imagined Zim pushing Dib on the bed after he told him what he had been doing when Zim spied on him. He imagined Zim covering his body with his own, whispering seductively in his ear, "What was the Dib-human thinking about when he was masturbating?" Zim hissed the word like it was dirty, filthy, and vile. Dib moaned softly.

"You, you….only you Zim."

"Kiss Zim," Zim commanded, and Dib imagined himself locking lips with his mortal enemy.

"Oh my- Oh my god," Dib whispered out loud as he climaxed especially hard onto his fingers.

It took him less than a minute to fall asleep.

x-x-x

After that, things went seemingly back to normal. Professor Membrane was disappointed that Dib was going to miss two whole weeks of school, so he gave Dib a list of books that he had to read in order to make up for it. Other than that, Dib was free to do what he wanted, and usually that involved being around Zim.

Since both of them weren't required to attend school for the time being, it left room for the both of them to fight each other. It was exhilarating. Zim seemed to have been saving plans that he wanted to do, and so everyday Zim had a new, equally hair-brained scheme to take over the world, and every day Dib found a way to stop him. It was like being back in middle school honestly. When every day was a whole new adventure, a new challenge, a new fight for the fate of the Earth. Things between them were getting a bit stagnant for a while, with school distracting them, or distracting Dib at least, so this was like a breath of fresh air, a way to bring the spark back to their relationship.

And now that Dib thought about it, he had no idea why he was always preoccupying himself with school, when he could do…..well….basically this.

There was never a dull moment, each move made Dib's heart race and his body sweat, and he felt alive again.

Dib could easily do exactly this for the rest of his life and be happy.

That might be a problem.

Good things have to end. At the end of the two weeks, Dib was exhausted and Zim was officially wiped out. Their last fight consisted of impressive explosives, a device to control all the world's satellites, and 35 pounds of butter. It was truly a fight for the ages, ignored by all, and quite spectacular. It was like they were trying to squeeze in as much fighting as they could while it lasted. And then, like usual, they returned to school. Dib and Gaz walked, they made it to their classes, and Zim showed up late like he usually did.

What wasn't usual, was that Zim once again, approached Dib during lunch.

"Zim will sit here today," Zim announced, sitting across from Dib, and Gaz, who was sitting next to him, quirked her brow.

"This is kind of new," she commented, before going back to her game.

Zim reached into his PAK and pulled out another 'fun dip' packet.

"Hey Dib, hey Zim, welcome back," someone said behind them. Dib turned to see that Brian was the one to be greeting him. Dib waved half-heartedly back.

"Why are the children being so…..NICE?" Zim questioned with suspicion, "They were decent the last incident as well. Where did this kind hearted nature come from?" He said to himself, mostly.

"It's a school rivalry thing," Dib supplied, "See, they still think we're crazy and weird, and they won't really be our friends or anything like that, but they hate kids that came from different districts a lot more. It's almost territorial. Kind of like…..it's only okay when they tease us, but it's not for everyone else."

"Fascinating," Zim commented, "You humans are even more privative than I previously thought, behaving like beasts in the wilderness. The instinct bled down your ancestral lines so much so that it causes in-school rivalry. Humans will be so easy to manipulate and crush," he snickered.

"Whatever you say Zim," Dib sighed.

"It might also have to do with the fact that the girls are all interested in Dib now," Gaz spat out under her breath.

"WHAT?" Dib half shouted in surprise. Zim's eyes widened.

"You should have heard it the past two weeks. It's all the girl can talk about in the locker room. At least, it's mostly the girls that are curious about their sexualities. They figure dating you wouldn't make it 'really count.' It makes me sick," she frowned.

"Um, wow," Dib responded, blushing, "I mean, not that it matters, but I am actually gay so….."

"You don't have to tell me," Gaz snarked, "No straight boy would have quite that many pictures of Nikola Tesla in their room."

"He was a great scientist for his time!"

"Don't get me started on the Alan Turing poster,"

"You can't prove anything occurred between me and the Alan Turing poster," Dib scoffed.

It took Zim a moment to realize that they were teasing each other.

Cute.

Behind them, Zim noticed a gaggle of girls sitting a few tables away. They were all looking in their direction, giggling and whispering under their breath. Zim glared and bared his teeth at them. They all quickly looked away. Zim smirked. Either Dib or Gaz didn't notice or they decided to ignore him.

It was the latter.

x-x-x

"I saw your face when Zim glared at those girls. He might not have noticed, but I did," Gaz said as they were walking out of the lunch hall.

"What look? Was I unconsciously giving him seductive winks or something?" Dib half joked.

"I'm being serious. You looked like he hung the moon. And all he did was glare at a few girls for encroaching on his weird alien territory."

"And you assume that weird alien territory would be me?" Dib huffed.

"I don't know what he thinks," Gaz frowned, "But I know how you think. And those thoughts are becoming exceptionally stupid. You really do have a crush on him,"

"Gaz, come on-"

"You come on," Gaz crossed her arms, "Look, if it were anybody, literally anybody else, I wouldn't really care. But this is Zim we're talking about. He's an alien Dib. And not just any alien, he's an alien that has been hell bent on your destruction since you both met. This isn't the kind of path I would have ever thought you would go down."

"Listen, Gaz, okay, sure, I've had a few thoughts, but it's nothing serious, I promise," he tried to reassure her half-heartedly.

"I hope for you sake you're not lying," Gaz furled her eyebrows, "Look, I get it. You've been obsessed with him for years. I wouldn't even really call it a crush. It's more of a Stockholm Syndrome of emotions. You need to do other things with your life beside follow Zim around forever. You're my brother, and hard as it might be to believe, I do actually care about you, and I don't want to see you get hurt," she dropped her voice low, "Like it or not Dib, Zim's an alien. He doesn't know what things like 'love' are. He won't understand at best- at worst, he will understand, and he'll use you."

"Zim is nowhere near that smart," Dib lied, frowning.

"I certainly don't think he is. Zim's an idiot," Gaz tilted her head, "In any case, whatever happens between you and him, it doesn't end with the both of you being happy- someone is eventually going to get hurt- most likely it'll be you."

She turned and walked away after that. Dib clenched his fists.

What did she know anyway?

x-x-x

Dib walked home alone. Gaz went off with one of her few friends, and Zim wasn't anywhere to be found. It was likely he took off after lunch. Zim was usually hard-pressed to spend an entire day at school. So, Dib was alone.

He was alone with his thoughts, which was something he usually enjoyed. He liked thinking. He was a visionary. An intellectual, but right now, he didn't really want to think.

He was thinking too much about Zim.

It was true, maybe his crush was getting out of control. First with Zim defending him at school, calling him his property, from Zim taking an interest in Dib's identity. It was confusing, and becoming more and more difficult to deny what he knew was true.

He was having feelings for Zim.

Complicated feelings. Usually they revolved around hating him. Dib knew this for a fact. He hated Zim. Loathed him to his core. There were two things that Dib was certain of in his life, the first being that he was a boy, the second being that he would never hate anyone quite as much as he hated Zim. It was a real struggle not to walk next to Zim while there was a puddle nearby and push him into it. Dib was almost an adult, and he had grown past that petty kind of behavior, but Zim brought out the very worst in him.

And yet…..

And yet…..

Dib tried to straighten out his thoughts in his head.

Was he attracted to Zim? Yes. Sexually attracted? Definitely yes.

Was he happy when Zim was around? Usually. Did he prefer Zim's company over anyone else's?

Another yes.

Still, Dib had un-conclusive results. There had to be more to this than just wanting to sleep with Zim and spending time with him. Whatever Dib felt for him was more complicated than that.

For instance, they fought all the time! Maybe not every waking minute of the day, but their fights also happened to get quite…out of control. Zim was trying to destroy all life on his planet. Dib was trying to save it. Zim was the enemy. That wasn't a healthy relationship on any level. Was that really what Dib wanted? To be with someone that he would have to fight til either one of them won or died?

Well….even if he wasn't with Zim…he'd still be….with Zim. Even if Dib found someone else to shower his attention on, and they felt the same, Zim would still be around one way or another. Dib wasn't going to stop saving the world just because he started dating people. Underneath it all, Zim was always going to be there. A constant. An unmovable object in his life. They were bonded together no matter what ended up happening.

Dib needed to think on it more…..nothing felt certain anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Dib ignores Gaz's advice.


	4. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib gives personification a whirl

That weekend, Dib rolled out of bed when he heard a loud knock at the front door. He sauntered down the stairs in a daze and the knocking became more frantic. Gaz was going to be furious that someone disturbed her slumber. Dib opened and unlocked the door to find his small green companion waiting for him.

"Dib human," Zim greeted him, "My base is ready for your arrival. I've ensured that I have left nothing around that could give away some of my next INGENIUOS EVIL plans. Also, I gave Gir twenty monies to go to the movies for the afternoon. I need him out of my base while I clean his filthy room."

"Give me a second," Dib yawned, rubbing his eyes, "I need to change and wake up. Sit on the couch or something. Don't touch anything," Dib warned. Zim walked into the house and peered around curiously. It was possibly the fifth time he had ever been inside.

Dib pulled his blanket tighter around himself as he walked up the stairs. He was a little relieved that Zim didn't notice he hadn't put his binder on yet. Or he did, and didn't mention it. Either way, he was happy it wasn't pointed out by the oblivious alien.

Dib got dressed, splashed water in his face, and picked up a pad and pencil to put into his trench coat pocket. He walked down the stairs to see Zim looking intently at a family photo. It was taken perhaps ten years previously. Maybe more. It was hard to remember. Dib couldn't fathom why Zim would be so interested at a picture of his family, until he remembered that this particular photo had an extra family member that Zim had never seen before. It didn't matter. Irrelevant anyway.

"I'm ready to go," Dib informed him and Zim put the photo down and nodded at him. They walked out the door into the brisk morning air.

"Your robot dog has his own room?" Dib asked, curious.

"He'd live in the living room if he could," Zim rolled his fake eyes, "I gave him his own room if only to keep him out of my way. But then he fills it with SOMETHING that makes the entire base smell horrible. I have to clean it every month to avoid that problem. Usually it's rotted and soiled meat. It's infuriating."

"Why don't you try to fix him, or at least throw him away? It seems like he causes more problems than he's worth." Dib suggested. Zim shook his head.

"He was a gift from my Tallest. I could never throw him away."

And that was all he said about it.

When they reached Zim's base, he grabbed Dib's hand, "I'm going to blind fold you now," Zim informed him.

Dib sighed, "I guess. It's not like I haven't been down there anyway," he rolled his eyes.

"LIES!" Zim screamed half-heartedly, "Now cease your complaining or else Zim will be FORCED TO RESCHEDULE."

"Alright alright, I'll stop whining. Let me have it," Dib grinned, and kneeled down to allow Zim to stand on his tippie toes to get up to Dib's head for him to tie the blindfold on. It still tickled Dib pink about how short Zim was. Seeing as how Zim was a fully developed Irken when he landed on Earth, it still somewhat surprised him that he only managed to grow a few inches while Dib shot up like a weed.

He learned a long time ago not to bring it up. There were a lot of things that got Zim mad, but you didn't insult Zim's height unless you wanted a literal death wish.

"There," Zim announced, "Now, I'm going to take you through one of my entrances. You won't know which one it will be, so if you have any plans about coming back here later for sneaky surveillance, you will find yourself HOPELESSY lost."

"I get it Zim. You know I'm going to try to sneak in regardless right?"

"Yeah sure whatever," Zim blew Dib off, "Once I remove your blind fold, your hour will begin. After that, all that's left of your wretched deal is to choose when you wish to start your eleven days of no doom, and then we can work on fixing Tak's wretched ship."

"Uh huh," Dib said absentmindedly. He might have been a tad excited about this ordeal. He had only been invited into Zim's lab once, during the Tak ordeal.

"Zim shall lead you," the Irken said, and grabbed on to Dib's arm. Zim slowly spun Dib around so Dib wouldn't have a feel for his surroundings. Then he began to lead him to a random entrance. Dib couldn't remember a time that Zim had ever handled him so gently before. It seemed as if every hand Zim had ever laid on him was painful.

This was a pleasant difference.

It took maybe half an hour for Zim to finally lead him into a room after hearing sounds of elevators and doors being opened and shut. Zim removed the blindfold and Dib found himself in the middle of a lab he hadn't seen before. There was a work bench that seemed to span for a mile in the large expense of a room. The walls were colored a deep red and there were LED screens everywhere, as well as exposed wires and random chutes and large tanks filled with various substances. There was also what appeared to be a large purple cocoon suspended from the ceiling.

"I can't make out what that's supposed to be," Dib said, pointing at the cocoon. Zim had been leaning against one of his consoles with his arms crossed until he noticed what Dib was referring to. He crossed over to it with a small grin on his face.

"Ah, yes, this is just one of my many recharging stations. Often I work on hours without end on one of my ingenious plans and Zim finds that Zim is too inconvenienced to have just one station to rest in. Irkens do not sleep, but we do require recharging when needed."

"I didn't even think you rested at all," Dib admitted, "I just thought you ran like a never ending motor."

"It is not often that I rest," Zim informed Dib, "But it's known to occur," he cocked an eye.

"So, do you just tell your computer to spit out a new station when you want one?"

"Zim WISHES," he rolled his eyes, "Irken outfitted bases typically have two recharge stations. My beautiful base has thirty six. Zim had to build them himself."

"That's actually pretty impressive. Is there a specific reason why they're suspended?"

"Comfort reasons for the most part," Zim explained, "Although they don't allow for much space, it gives the illusion of it. They rock back and forth when occupied and have a heating system to regulate body temperature."

"They really rock back and forth?" Dib asked, "Like a cradle? Is it to simulate rocking in the wind?"

"Actually yes," Zim answered thoughtfully, "It helps mask the fact that I'm currently residing underground. Some Irkens prefer the sensation of burrowing under the surface. Some of us…. do not."

"Are you claustrophobic?" Dib asked, "Does it really bother you that much?"

Zim seemed to snap out of his thoughts and he turned to Dib, "Does the Dib want to continue with these pointless questions or does he want to look around the lab?"

"You're right, I'll stop 'prying'," Dib joked, "So what about these?" Dib gestured at some various machinery littering the work bench, "Did you build these too?"

Zim grinned wickedly, "Most definitely," he chuckled, "These are various projects unrelated to my next EVIL PLAN. However, I have left them out so you may admire Zim's GENIUS."

"Modest too," Dib giggled, "So is the rest of your species as inventive as you?"

"AS IF!" Zim shouted, "Many Irkens grow lazy with complacency! They rely too much on the technologies of other species or Irkens before them! Many of them fail to realize how much progress there is still to be made! Half of these devices Zim has found ways TO IMPROVE! Thus proving that there is ALWAYS ROOM FOR ADJUSTMENTS AND SUCCESS!"

"This is the first time I've ever heard you say anything negative about your own race," Dib noted, "Besides Tak, but that was personally. Usually you sing their praises."

"Obviously not all of them can be as great as Zim," the alien huffed, "And some of them fail to see the genius that is Zim. And others are JEALOUS. AND SPREAD LIES ABOUT ZIM. LIKE TAK. Only the Tallest fully trust me. They see Zim's greatness. That is why they gave me this mission. It was so that Zim can finally prove to everyone else how awesome and amazing Zim is! The Tallest already know that, but they help Zim show the rest of Irk what they already know! That Zim is GREAT!"

Zim was getting so wrapped up in his own praises, he didn't notice the door behind him whoosh open. Dib had expected it to be Gir to walk through, but it wasn't Gir.

"Hey Zim, has your 'Greatest Rival' left yet? I think I left a sandwich in here," a larger, squat Irken asked.

The Irken seemed to be the same height as Zim, but fatter, with chubby cheeks and a wide set body. His eyes were round and he had a kind voice.

"SKOODGE!" Zim screeched, "I TOLD YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT TO COME TO THIS PART OF THE BASE!"

"WOW! Another Irken!" Dib squealed, "I didn't know you had another Irken living with you! You don't look anything like Tak or Zim!"

"Ah! The tall earth beast is still here!" Skoodge exclaimed, "Sorry Zim! But I am really hungry and I couldn't find my way to the food station."

"JUST GET YOUR STUPID SANDWICH AND GET OUT OF HERE!" Zim let out a strangled yelp. There was a new coloring rushing to his cheeks that Dib had never seen before.

"Hi! I'm Dib! Zim's rival and protector of Earth! Are you Zim's henchman? How long have you been down here?" Dib asked.

"Invader Skoodge sir!" Skoodge introduced himself, "And Zim's just letting me crash here for a while. I died for a bit on Hobo 13 but I'm all better now. I'm kind of homeless until the Tallest send for me for a new mission."

"WHY NOT JUST TELL HIM MY NEXT SECRET PLAN WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!" Zim continued to snarl, "Just get out of here SKOODGE!" Zim's eyes were positively murderous.

"Aw Zim, but this is the first time I've gotten to even see a human up close! And he's talking to me and asking me questions and giving me attention! He is a little ugly though. You told me your human wasn't completely terrible looking."

"You have exactly three seconds to leave before I let Gir play with your Sir unit!" Zim warned.

"Fine fine Zim!" Skoodge exclaimed, "I'll see you later. Bye Zim's human." And Skoodge walked out of the lab.

"He was nice!" Dib exclaimed, "It's comforting to know that other Irkens aren't totally evil."

"Skoodge conquered a planet of slaughtering rat people before he came here," Zim said with a nasty tone, "But if you want to waste your time talking about SKOODGE you can go ahead. I don't care."

"It seems like you care a little bit," Dib snickered, "Why? Are you jealous?"

"Jealous of Skoodge? For what?" Zim yelled, "That you're giving him attention when you are here to bask in the glory that is Zim's genius? Nonsense! Most preposterous thing I've ever heard! That's so ridiculous I could laugh! And I'm going to! Here I go! Bwa hahaha!"

"Pfft, that's the fakest laugh I've ever heard," Dib muttered under his breath, "Don't worry Zim, you're still my favorite alien menace."

"Eh? Of course! Every one revels in the glory that is Zim! Even you, pitiful Dib-monkey!"

Dib continued to ask simple questions about the lab that they were in, pointing to equipment and asking their basic function, while Zim answered him and continued with prattling on about how he had improved the device in some way.

Dib knew his hour was coming to an end, but didn't say anything. Maybe Zim wouldn't notice.

x-x-x

"Is this your main lab?" Dib finally asked, "Or is this just the safest lab you felt like showing me?"

"It's not the main one," Zim admitted, "However there is no real main lab. Most of them are very similar, and some have different purposes. I consider my main lab as the lab where I'm working on my most current project. However, I have deemed this part of my base as the 'Making Stuff Room'."

"Creative name," Dib said sarcastically, but Zim failed to catch it.

"Thank you," he replied absently.

Dib jotted down notes as quickly as he could before his hour was up, and continued to ask Zim questions little things about his lab, until Zim decided to wave his hand.

"Dib human, you're time is up. However, I am willing to extend your time if you do me a small favor."

"Oh god, what is it? Do I have to promise my spleen to you or something?"

"NO!" Zim said indignantly, shifting his eyes, "You have to help me clean Gir's room."

"Really? You're going to let me see your robot's room? Sure! I've been curious about what he keeps in there since you mentioned it."

"You'd be surprised," Zim told him, "Well, follow Zim, Dib-worm, and no complaints when we get there."

x-x-x

Dib almost wanted to complain about the fact that when they got to the elevator, Zim commanded the computer to take them to Gir's room and it zigzagged its way around the base like Willy Wonka's amazing elevator, and Zim still felt the need to blind fold Dib.

When they reached the hall to Gir's room, Dib wanted to puke at the smell. It was rancid, like an acidic perfume of animal guts and rotting vomit.

"That can't be a real smell," Dib gagged, "This better be worth it,"

"No complaining," Zim reminded him, stopping at a door and opening it.

Inside was a brightly colored room with a layer of filth covering the floor.

"Ehhhh, it looks like he tried to turn pigs into a carpet again," Zim noted with disgust, "Hurry inside Dib-stink,"

Gir's room was vastly different to the rest of Zim's base. For one, it was colored in a very convincing shade of baby blue, which Dib imagined was supposed to imitate a cleaner Earth atmosphere. There were several crude crayon drawings hung very neatly on the walls, and a bright florescent lamp that resembled an Earth sun. There was a pink and yellow shelf with jars full of things like dead insects or eyeballs, as well as a matching pink and yellow table with chairs and an easy bake oven.

There were also several small tunnels, platforms, slides, and blocks scattered around, and a pile of cute plush piggies. It looked as if it were a very spoiled rotten three year old's room.

If it weren't for the terrible smell and rotting meat, it would have been a very pleasant room.

"Computer!" Zim yelled, "Open Vat number 28! And extend the vacuum in here!"

"Ughhhhh," the computer groaned, "Finnneee,"

A small compartment in the room opened up and Zim walked over and reached inside. He pulled out a pair of goggles, a shower cap, washing gloves and overalls. He handed Dib his own pair of washing gloves and goggles. Dib put them on as another circular port opened up and a nozzle was shot out of it. Zim grabbed it and pulled at the nozzle until it was released and carried it over to the sludge on the floor.

"Release the CLEANSING GEL!" Zim commanded. At once a purple jelly was expelled from the nozzle and onto the floor. It immediately hardened on contact with the spoiled meat and began to crust and turn white.

"Dib-filth," Zim said, "There is a vacuum port next to the gel dispenser, grab it and bring it here. When the cleansing gel turns completely white, dispose of it with the vacuum."

Dib nodded in understanding and went over to the wall where the vac was. He brought it over the crusting floor and turned it on and once. The vacuum began to pick up the crusting meat bits at once.

"This will go a lot faster now," Zim said in relief.

"Why? I would have thought you would have made your 'roommate' help you with this mess," Dib commented.

Zim was silent, going back to the task at hand, and Dib realized that Zim probably didn't have Skoodge help him with this. Or probably anything else. Zim was stubborn and often lamented on the fact that Invaders needed no one. That sentiment probably extended to his species, and maybe their culture was based on one where no one helped each other. Maybe it was based on helping yourself instead of relying on anyone else. It was kind of sad to think that Zim didn't trust any of his own kind.

And then it made Dib think on the fact that no matter his reasons, Zim still trusted him with this small task. A chore really. And he couldn't even bring it within himself to ask his own race for help.

But he had asked Dib instead.

x-x-x

"Hey Gaz! I'm home!" Dib shouted once he walked thru the threshold, his sister entertaining herself with another one of her handheld games.

"Where have you been?" she asked, not tearing her eyes away from her device.

"Zim's," Dib told her, "It was part of our agreement. He let me into his base and I got to look around. Did you know his evil robot dog has its own room? It was so cute. And he has another Irken living at the base with him. I wonder how long he's been staying there. I guess I should start working on my next plan on infiltrating his base-"

"Oh my god Dib," Gaz groaned, "We agreed on designated blabbering times would be held during dinner, can you save it until then at least?" she complained.

"Sorry, I'm just really excited. I learned so much neat stuff about Zim and his people's technology. Mostly about Zim. I think he really cares about his robot, and has actual feelings of affection for it. I mean, it's a robot, and he keeps it out of sentimental value and he gave it its own room and keeps track of its interests and emotions. I thought it was very sweet. I've never seen him actually care about something that wasn't himself. And you should have seen how jealous he got when I started asking him about his roommate-"

"Goddamnit Dib," Gaz grimaced, "You're not even going to try to fucking refrain yourself from your inane chattering. Ughhhhhhh fine….. I guess I can listen to you for now, but this is only because your birthday is coming up and I'm feeling charitable."

"Right, so anyway Gaz, I really think that Zim is a lot smarter than he lets on. I mean, he's obviously a terrible infiltrator and his plans are just plain bad, but he's a brilliant engineer, I don't know why he just didn't stay an inventor for his planet. Obviously I'm glad he isn't, otherwise I'd never have met him and gotten contact from an alien species or have access to all this knowledge, but from a technological standpoint Zim is a genius. But then again, from the way Zim talks about his own perceived greatness, maybe the Invader job is more of a glory thing on his planet. I wonder what kind of social hierarchy Zim reached on his own planet. I mean, every other Irken I've ever seen around him has been around his height. I don't have much of a basis for comparison, other than the fact that his leaders are insanely tall when compared to Zim. I wonder if they're an anomaly? Is Zim average for his species? I also heard him say actual negative things about his own people today, that was rare. Usually he sings up and down about how great they all are. But anyway, this new Irken is actually pretty different compared to Zim, which is interesting. Tak had almost the same body type Zim did, even though she was slightly taller, and had different eye color and skin color, and their demeanor was much the same too. She was a lot more social-able than he was, but the anger issue was definitely present. This Irken seemed a lot calmer and aloof than Zim was, and even though some features were very similar, such as eye and skin color, but his body type was completely different. I wonder how many varied features Irkens have. I wonder if Humans look all the same to them. That would be interesting to study. And then there was-"

Gaz held her arms up, "This is taking a lot longer than I expected. I'm going to make a sandwich. You can follow me and gibber-jabber away but just know that I'm not going to be paying attention to you," she warned.

Dib followed her into the kitchen and proceeded to natter away. Gaz busied herself with her food and then brought two plates to the table while Dib followed her and sat down. She pushed one plate toward him.

"Sit. Eat. Breathe," she commanded. Dib witlessly grabbed the sandwich in front of him and took a bite. He grimaced. Mustard and spicy bologna. He was probably irritating her a little more than usual.

"Sorry Gaz," he apologized and continued eating his sandwich. Gaz shrugged her shoulders but Dib could tell she had already forgiven him. They ate silently together and Dib felt himself calm down.

It wasn't often that this happened, but Dib had been able to pick up over the years Gaz's silent signals. Whereas Dib needed a lot of stimulation in order to function, Gaz often needed silence in order to feel comfortable. She didn't know it, but he was making some noise cancelling headphones for her next birthday. She'd probably grumble about it but he hoped it would be the right gesture. She liked silence and a calm atmosphere, something he was bad at maintaining for her. Even their Dad got excitable sometimes and broke the silence with booming speeches and loud experiments. Gaz was different from them in that way. She was more like their mother, not that Dib knew all that much about her.

Gaz finished eating her food, so she got up from her seat to go and wash her dishes, when she spoke up again.

"You think Zim has affection for his little robot?" Gaz asked, "You think he actually cares about it?"

"Um…." Dib answered, unsure, "I think so? I've known Zim for a long time to know how incredibly selfish he is, but I don't think I've ever seen that selfishness extend to his robot. And it's a pretty useless robot. Not like Tak's. Tak's robot was very useful, but Zim did tell me that Tak wasn't really an Invader and she had built most of her tech herself. Whereas Zim's robot was given to him by his leaders. Maybe SIR units aren't supposed to be useful? Maybe it's sort of a companion thing. I mean, Zim's been on this planet for years, away from his home. That's a long time to not have any sort of familiar contact with your own world. Maybe the robots are so Irkens don't go crazy from loneliness out here. That's just a theory, I have no idea how long his alien friend has been with him, but he definitely hasn't been here since the beginning."

Gaz shut off the sink and sighed, placing her dishes on the rack, "Are you sure your opinion isn't….biased?"

"Why would you think my opinion is- you don't think I'm trying to fool myself into thinking that Zim has human emotions- do you?"

"I don't know," Gaz answered, squaring her shoulders to face him, "I don't know what I think," she sighed.

"You and Dad are always going to be smarter than me," she continued, "But both of you are idiots when it comes to people. Especially you. I think you forget that you're still a little kid. And I think you forget that Zim is, as far as we know, an adult. And that for years it's been a little kid fighting a grown up. And I don't think it's very fair. But you don't listen to me, and you don't listen to Dad. And Dad doesn't listen to either of us. But….. I don't think anything that has ever happened to either of us has ever been very fair, or even normal…. So… I don't know. I like to pretend that I know what to do, but I don't."

She walked away from him the, and hovered around the kitchen entrance. She pursed her lips and crossed her arms and turned to look back at her brother, "I just feel like something bad is going to happen."


	5. Siblings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib makes a decision and Gaz gives her brother a chance.

Things carried on vaguely normal after that. Dib returned to school where the general opinion of him returned to ignored geek. Professor Membrane hadn't been seen for a week, as he had thrown himself headfirst into a new scientific breakthrough.

Zim reverted back into whatever kind of normal he had previously, although he did sit next to Dib in the lunch room more often. Not every day, and not even very frequently, but enough for it to be noticeable.

Zim would tell him small messages during each sit down, in which the alien would inform Dib of hints on how to prepare Tak's ship for repairs. He never said any more than that, until one day, in which something very…..strange happened.

It was a Tuesday afternoon, and while Dib was half expecting Zim to come sit with him, he didn't. Instead, Torque Smacky plopped himself in the seat across from Dib. It was something that had never happened before, and even Gaz was startled enough to pause her game to look up at the large child. Torque kept his eyes trained on his lunch, shoveling spoon fulls of peas into his mouth and trying his best to look inconsipicuous. It was working. No one else in the lunch room seemed to notice his odd behavior.

After he was done with his peas, he looked up at Dib, and met his stare.

"How's it going Torque?" Dib asked him, hesitantly.

"Back in middle school, I remember you were very concerned for my well being," Torque started, causing both Gaz and Dib's eyebrows to raise.

Torque noticed their confused looks, and continued on, "You were afraid the green kid was going to steal my organs. You followed me around to make sure nothing was going to happen to me."

"Yeah?" Dib tilted his head in confusion. Torque had never brought up that incident once after it had happened. Torque probably only remembered getting very sick until Zim finally returned everybody's organs to them. Dib still wasn't sure whether he had received the right pair of lungs back.

"I never thanked you for being concerned, we weren't even friends, and you still tried to protect me from whatever you thought I was in danger from," Torque replied, "I've always meant to, but it never seemed like the right time."

"Um….no problem Torque," Dib told him, "It really wasn't a big deal."

"Sure," Torque said, "I just wanted to tell you that I overheard some guys making bets on you," Torque shifted and looked uncomfortable.

"Bets?" Gaz asked, voice low.

"On…..on who can….you know…..get you first," Torque wrinkled his nose, "In a family way."

Dib flushed with embarrassment, and Gaz's face turned murderous.

"I just thought you should know," Torque said, "Take care of yourself," and he picked up his plate and walked away.

"Well that was mortifying," Dib said after a moment.

"Gross," Gaz shuddered, "Thank god I haven't touched my lunch yet," and she shoved her tray away.

"I can't wait to graduate," Dib rubbed his face over his hands, "So I don't have to deal with these people anymore."

Not a minute later, Zim came over and sat down and sat at Torque's vacated seat.

"Why do both of you look ill?" Zim questioned.

"Torque gave us a disturbing bulletin on how exactly the boys at this school continue to prove themselves disgusting," Gaz informed him, while blanching, "I'm going to the bathroom."

She stood up and left, Zim cocking his eyes watching her go, before turning to look at Dib.

"I've been telling you all for years that your species is disgusting. Glad to see that your sister finally agrees," he said smugly.

"Knock it off," Dib groaned, "I don't want to think about the last five minutes. Is there something you want to tell me about the ship or what?"

"Eh? Ah that's right, the ship. As you very well know I hardly ever take breaks in between my ingenious evil, but I find myself in a standstill in my latest project. Seeing as I now have time on my hands, I felt it wise to ask if the Dib would like Zim to accompany him to the Dib's place of residence today so that Zim can look over the ship himself," Zim paused, and then said thoughtfully, "And also to check to see if the Dib hasn't blundered everything beyond repair."

"The faith you have in me is so reassuring by the way," Dib sighed, "Sure, I guess. Dad hasn't been home in a while but I doubt he would mind anyway. That isn't an invitation for your evil robot too, by the way. Gaz won't be with us in the garage and I can't handle you and keep an eye on him at the same time."

"Acceptable," Zim nodded, and then cast his eyes upwards in a befuddled gesture, "I believe I'm missing something…hmmm….ah yes. A human pig smelly approached me today with a message to give to you. I was mortified to have one of your disgusting species think they can dare speak with me. Ensure that it doesn't happen again."

"What?" Dib snorted, "Who?"

"I can't be bothered to remember all of your names. It's hard enough to tell you apart from your appearance as it is."

"Okay, we'll circle back to that, because wow, but what was the message anyway?"

"This conversation is taking longer than I perceived," Zim huffed, "It was insignificant. I could hardly understand them for a start. Something about whether or not you were available to 'hook up?' I don't know if it was something about fishing, but rest assured I told them you weren't available for anything. You're much too preoccupied with me to go gallivanting with another useless human."

"I- What!?" Dib sputtered. "Tell me that's not what you actually said. Those words did not come out of your mouth in that order. You're joking."

"Zim is not, as you call it, 'joking.' Zim is serious. You devote all your free time to me, and that is not an assumption. That is a statement of fact. I informed the little worm of our relationship and sent him on his way."

"Oh….oh my…pfffttttt-" Dib covered his mouth with his hands. Zim cocked an eye at him.

"What are you doing?"

"I can't breathe," Dib snorted into his fist, but it came out like , 'ehcanhhhbrethee'.

"I don't-" Zim's voice halted, "I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing,"

"You fucking said that?!" Dib finally pulled his mouth away from his hands and started to break down in a fit of giggles. He snorted obnoxiously and sucked in air to let out another, harder laugh.

"Why are you laughing?"

And then tears began to gather at Dib's eyes before they started falling.

"Why are you crying?"

"Oh my god," Dib wiped away at his eyes, "You…..you are going to regret you said that. Wow. I mean….there's a chance that it's going to suck for me too but your reaction to this will literally make my entire life."

"What are you babbling about now human?" Zim screeched, "Have you finally lost your pitiful mind!?"

"No but you're going to," Dib cracked another life, "Gosh, I'm going to be surprised if half the school hasn't already heard about your stunt."

"You have lost your mind," Zim pouted, "Such a shame, you've been such a worthy adversary til now."

"You're going to eat your words pretty soon buddy," Dib's grin was beginning to hurt his face, "This might be the best thing that's ever happened to me."

And right on cue, whispers began to escalate around them, and Zim whipped his head around the cafeteria room, finding that most eyes were on him. Him and Dib.

"What are you all looking at!?" Zim snarled, "ANSWER ZIM!"

"Hey Zim! How's your date going?" someone shouted.

"Are you gonna give him a big ol kiss later!?" Another voice added.

Zim blanked, for maybe a full three seconds, and then he whipped his head to look at Dib, who looked like he was having a difficult time trying to keep himself together, and he looked back at the cafeteria crowd.

"What is happening right now?"

The crowd went back to whispering amongst each other, and Zim caught one hushed sentence, "…..Always knew they were gonna end up together. Fuckin' weirdos have been on each other's asses since middle school…."

Zim turned to look back at Dib, who was sighing, "You still don't understand do you?"

Zim was about to speak if Gaz hadn't walked back to the table.

"Why are there people out in the hall talking about how you and Zim are boyfriends?" she asked.

Dib burst out laughing again.

"What!" Zim squeaked. It seems that he had understood that, at least.

"Yeah," Gaz snapped, "And I'm just going to say this now, but if this isn't just the product of the high school rumor mill, and it's true, I don't support it and I'm not coming to the wedding. I won't do it. Don't even ask, because the answer will be no."

Dib finally caught his breath and he wiped his face, "Don't worry Gaz. Zim just said the completely wrong thing to someone and made me the happiest person in this room."

"I don't see how that can be possible. You're a miserable turd."

"True. But this is the funniest thing that's ever happened to me and I want to enjoy it while I can."

Zim, who had been silent through the entire exchange, finally hissed, "People in the school think we are…love pigs."

Dib grinned, "Yup."

"And somehow that's my fault," he continued hissing.

"Yup," Dib grinned wider.

"And you think it's funny,"

"You betcha."

"I don't wish to alarm you, but when you go to sleep tonight I'm going to have Gir eat your face."

"That still doesn't make me feel as bad as you're going to be for a while," Dib snickered, "People think we're romantically involved. They think we hold hands and kiss under the bleachers. People are gonna think about how we go on dates and get affectionate with each other. And you did it to yourself," his shoulders started shaking with mirth, "I was so looking forward to the day when your big mouth would come back and bite you in the ass."

For some reason, Dib would have preferred for Zim to start screaming instead of the hissing in a low voice, as he sounded much more dangerous, "This is not the end of this Dib worm," and with that, Zim hoisted himself from his seat and marched out of the cafeteria.

Gaz shook her head and crossed her arms.

"Why are you still so tickled pink about this? I'm starting to think you're happy about this misunderstanding for all the wrong reasons."

"Someone wanted to ask me out through Zim, I guess assuming we were friends or something, and Zim decided to oh so skillyfully reject them for me."

"Hmmm," she tilted her head, "And how exactly did he manage to S the bed that badly?"

"He told them that I couldn't hook up with them because I was too preoccupied with him."

"Oh," Gaz finally grinned, "Oh. Okay. Now I see how that's funny."

"Mmm," Dib smiled, "Maybe next time he'll learn not to make decisions for me again."

"What?" Gaz balked, "Why? Did you know who it was? Did you want to go out with them? Because if so congrats on upgrading from our beloved green bean."

"It doesn't matter if I wanted to go out with them or not," Dib answered, annoyed, "I'm mad because he thought he could answer for me as if he knows me, or thinks he has a right to speak for me. I'm perfectly capable of making those kind of choices for myself without having to factor him into every goddamn decision I make in my life."

"In any case, I am glad," Gaz told him, "You really should start separating Zim from your personal life. Just because he invaded your privacy and made an effort to not treat you as awful as he could have about it, doesn't mean you have to invite him into every aspect of your life."

"I-" Dib stopped, "You're actually really worried about this, aren't you?"

"I'm always worried about you," Gaz huffed, "Am I going to be worried that a literal alien is trying to get close to you? I'm fucking terrified."

Dib gave her a curious look. Gaz and him were close as toddlers, until middle school, when he started to devote his life to the paranormal and she became angry, they started to drift apart. He can admit that he wasn't the best brother, and at times he could be a down right rotten sibling, and he honestly thought they might never be as close as they were when they were small and stupid and didn't understand how fucked up everything around them was.

He didn't know how he missed it, but they were close again. Because of her. She was making an effort. She wanted to be a good sister. And he was here, preoccupied with himself.

"I'm sorry," he blurted, "I'll…..I'll stop. I won't let him be so close to me. I have been noticing. He's….he's been nicer and he's treating me kinder than most people ever have…I wanted it. I wanted him to be nice."

"Don't start crying on me," she scowled, "I'm just glad you've stopped being an idiot."

"Um," he looked down at his tray, unsure of what to say.

"Do you want to do something today?" he asked.

She looked up at him, "Like what?"

"We could see a movie," he offered, "We haven't done that in a while. We could just walk to the cinema from here. I don't think Dad would mind."

Gaz looked like she was going to say no. Like she wanted to say no. She was silent, looking at him, Dib growing more uncomfortable, and he turned red and looked away.

"I'm picking the movie," she finally said, "And we're gonna get the pretzels at the concession stands. The big ones. We'll ruin our dinner and try to sneak into another movie without paying for it and get home late."

"Okay," Dib smiled, "Isn't it weird how…..how normal that sounds?"

She nodded.

"How sad is that?"

"Pretty sad," Gaz sighed, "I put money that by the time we're proper adults you'll be on medication for a childhood induced disorder and I'll be in therapy because of our fucked up lives."

"We should get help," Dib said.

"Probably," she agreed, "Not now though. We're still kids. Gotta appreciate being irresponsible while it lasts."

x-x-x

Later when they returned, there was a note on the front door.

It read:

So sorry that you missed our date love pig

Dib tried not to feel a flutter in his stomach.

Gaz tore the note down and crumpled it in her fist.

x-x-x

Despite having a fun time with his sister, and the hilariously embarrassing debacle involving Zim, when Dib woke up the next morning and sat up, he started crying.

He was silent in his grief, and he looked down at his hands. They were too small. He clenched them into a tight fist and then with one hand he pinched his opposite arm, hard. His nails dung into the flesh and tears welled up and he began to bleed. He let go and let out a shuddering breath. He repeated the process with the other arm. His legs shook and he just wanted to disappear. Nothing in life mattered anyway. What was the point? He was an insignificant speck in a vast universe and one day he would be dead and everything he thought was significant and important wouldn't have even mattered because the universe was going to end eventually and there would be nothing and it would have been if he had never existed-

Dib whined and grasped his arms, and then his breasts. He rolled out of bed, shaking and crying, over to his laptop and powered it on. He was whimpering and he couldn't stop the ugly acidic thoughts dancing in his brain. He didn't feel real, he didn't feel like his body was his and that he was just a specter, trapped in his brain screaming to get out and be free. He was rooted to the uncaring ground and he was bound to a form he hated and betrayed him time and time again. He didn't' want to be human, didn't want to be alive, because before he didn't exist and now he did and it would be over-

Dib sobbed and his laptop was on. He sat in his chair, gasping, and opened up his music player and clicked on a specific playlist. The sounds of people chattering and talking amongst each other about insignificant things- a podcast, filled the room. Dib followed the words carefully and focused his entire attention on the conversation. Soon his disturbing thoughts edged away and he was able to breathe.

It had been awhile since he had disassociated.

The attacks were never pleasant and it was likely going to be with him forever, especially after all he had seen. They were also usually a signal that his dysphoria was going to be especially awful. Dib wiped away his tears and breathed softly.

There was a knock that caught his attention, and his door was wide open. Gaz was standing at the doorway.

"Is it bad?" she asked. So she had caught his panic attack. He must have been really out of it not to notice her standing there.

He nodded.

"You've had a lot of stressful days in a row," she commented. "We can skip today."

"You never want to skip class."

"Eh," she shrugged, "We already broke curfew last night, might as well have the full rebellious teenager experience while we're at it."

"I guess," he shrugged, "I'm probably not going to be much fun today."

"It's not about that dummy," she said, "You feel awful so you might as well feel awful with me than feel awful at school with a bunch of idiots."

"Good point."

"Put on fresh pajamas and come downstairs. We can camp in the living room and watch movies. You can bring your computer. I'll probably just be playing my game."

"Why would you want to turn on the tv then?"

"For ambiance, duh," she rolled her eyes.

She turned to walk down the stairs. She was wearing pink footie pajamas, "Come down whenever," she shouted.

Dib retreated into his room and pulled out one of his uglier hoodies, but it was soft and well-worn. He went to grab his binder but stopped. The dysphoria was going to be so bad it wouldn't matter whether or not he bound anyway. He might as well feel miserable and breathe. He pulled on a pair of sweats that were too big for him and grabbed his laptop.

Gaz had pulled out a few blankets and comforter and draped them on the couch. A terrible horror movie was playing and she had put out bags of chips and donuts on the coffee table. She was absorbed in a video game while nestled under the blankets. Dib moved a blanket and settled in, grabbing a donut and shoving it into his mouth.

"You're gross," Gaz muttered.

"I've lost all semblance of modesty because of how ugly I feel today so I'll probably be farting on the couch too.

"Oh my god!" Gaz stuck her tongue out, "Boys are so disgusting!"

Dib knew exactly what she was trying to do, but he didn't say anything. He only shrugged.

"I'm just warning you."

"Whatever. If you try to dutch oven me I will staple your mouth shut."

"Uh huh," he said, turning on his laptop. There was an email from The Swollen Eyeball Network. He deleted the email without opening it. He couldn't even think about the paranormal today.

He started to mindlessly watch baking videos and downloaded new episodes of 'How it's Made,' when Gaz broke the silence.

"Do you ever wish Mom never left?"

Dib looked at her. Her eyes weren't looking at him. She was looking over at the family photograph on their living room dresser, the one that Zim had picked up when he came to the house.

Dib didn't think anything of it, but he looked over at the photo now. Dib and Gaz were young, almost babies. Their dad was holding Dib. A woman was holding Gaz.

"I don't know," Dib admitted, "I didn't know her very well. You didn't either, but you know….. we reacted differently to it."

"I used to be so angry all the time," Gaz said wistfully, "I hated her. I never really understood why she never seemed to….want us."

"I know," Dib told her, "I was probably more weirded out about the whole us being clones thing, than I ever was about her. She was never really like a mom anyway."

"Tell me about it," Gaz said, "And people think Dad's the boring one."

"At least she visits," Dib offered.

"Yeah. An hour on Christmas and then our birthdays. I used to wish she wouldn't show up, so it could just be you and me and dad."

"Why are you asking so much about mom anyway? This is probably the most we've ever talked about her in like…..ever."

"No reason really," Gaz shook her head, "I just looked at the picture for the first time in forever and just…. mom. You know?"

"I guess," Dib shrugged, "It feels weird even thinking about the fact that we have a mom, technically. I don't feel like hers, so I don't see a point to it."

"I feel like hers," Gaz said quietly.

Dib stared at her silently.

"She was always about order, and cleanliness, and she was cold and calculated. I would copy her sometimes, around the house. I don't think she ever smiled once. She was always really frustrated with dad because of how messy he could be. She liked the quiet. She liked being by herself….." Gaz trailed off, "Sometimes I think that's the reason why I could be such a bitch."

"You're not," Dib frowned.

Gaz laughed, "Pull the other one."

"I don't think you're a bitch."

"Yeah? What would you know. You're a bitch too."

"Hey!"

"I'm right," she said, "I don't know. Sometimes I just don't want to be alone like her, but then I think about what it would be like to have like….a house and a husband and kids, and I'm just like…..ugh."

"You don't have to have a house and a husband to not be alone you know," Dib corrected, "You have me, and you have dad. I know you have friends. You don't have to be involved with someone romantically to not feel lonely. Even thinking about you being with someone romantically turns my guts, but that's probably because you're my baby sister."

"Ass," she mumbled, "What if the reason I don't want a husband is because I want a wife instead?"

Dib paused. "Do you?"

"No," she admitted, "Sometimes I wish….. I feel like it would be easier to be gay and to date girls, you know? They're not anywhere near as disgusting as boys, but I don't want to hold their hands and kiss them either."

"Have you ever considered," Dib added, "That you just might not be interested in anyone in general?"

Gaz was silent. She was silent for what seemed like several moments.

"Yeah," she told him, "I think that's probably it."

Silence swept through the room, and Dib shut his laptop.

"Dad's going to be so pissed that neither of us are going to give him grandchildren."

Gaz threw her head back and laughed so hard she choked on her own spit.

x-x-x

They were back in school the next day, and everyone was staring at them. Gaz tried to pretend she wasn't noticing, but she did.

"What the hell is going on?" she mumbled.

"I think it's just me they're staring at," Dib supplied.

A hand clapped him on the back and Dib turned around and saw that it was Torque again.

"Zim lost his shit yesterday," he said.

"What?" him and Gaz both asked.

"You weren't here, and I guess some guys were picking on him for dating you. I don't think he even knew what they were saying to him, but I think he was cowed more about the fact that they were taunting him."

Dib had to hand it to him. Torque definitely looked smarter than he looked.

"Thanks Smacky," Dib said.

"Yeah. He kind of threw a fit and started…like…. Screaming your name and talking about all the terrible things he was going to do to you if you came back. So….people are probably staring at you because it's the equivalent of seeing a dead man walking."

"Oh god," Dib put his hands to his forehead, pinching the bridge of his nose, "I can't even….. I leave him alone for one day…."

"You're not actually dating him right?" Torque asked, "I'm….I'm pretty sure he's a sociopath. So you know….. don't stick your dick in crazy yeah?"

"Oh my god," Dib stuttered, "No….no we're not dating. Zim just said something stupid like he always does. You know him."

"Sure," Torque rolled his eyes, "So….and this is embarrassing…. And I can't believe I'm saying this…"

Gaz sucked in air behind Dib.

"My cousin wants to ask you out on a date," Torque finished.

"Oh!" Gaz mumbled, "Okay, close to what I thought he was going to say."

Torque gave her a sideways glance, "Obviously, he got a little cowed with that whole thing with Zim, and all his junk. Um… but I kind of want to vouch for him. My cousin is a really cool guy. I could introduce you-"

The first bell rang, and Dib was relieved. He had been praying for the floor to open up and swallow him whole, but this was just as good.

"He'll talk to you later," Gaz grabbed Dib's arm and ushered him away.

"How is this my life?" Dib muttered, "An alien wants to kill me and for some reason guys at school all want to kiss me. I'm dead aren't I? I crashed the ship when I was thirteen and I've been dead this whole time."

"You're not dead," Gaz assured him, "And I need to get information on Smacky's cousin so I can give him the third degree later. Oh I'm so excited. My first shovel talk. I'll bring an actual shovel. This is going to be fantastic."

"You don't think I'm actually going to go out with him, do you? I don't even know him!" Dib whimpered.

"Exactly. You don't know him. You might like him. I have to go to class, but we're talking about this later," she let go of his arm and walked into her classroom.

"This can't be my life," Dib mumbled, before turning around to head to his own classroom.

x-x-x

Zim was sitting at the front of the class.

Zim never sat at the front of the class.

Dib sat down next to him, pointedly ignoring him and grabbing his folders out of his bag.

"You didn't show up to school yesterday," Zim hissed.

"Wow, you should be a detective," Dib responded dryly.

"And you didn't walk with me to your house so we could discuss Tak's ship."

"Yeah I got your friendly love note," Dib told him, "I decided to spend time with my sister. Sorry I didn't run it by you first, because somehow I'm obligated to inform you of everything I do. Oh wait…. No I don't. I wish I could say sorry, but I wouldn't mean it."

The glare that Zim sent his way was full of heat. Dib wanted to shrink back. But he didn't.

"You would never go spend time with your wretched sister instead of being with me," he snarled, "What were you really doing?"

"Do you want to see my ticket stubs?" Dib shot back, "Do you want me to tell you the address of the movie theater? Steal the survelliance footage to co-oberate my story? I don't owe you an explanation, so be happy I'm giving you one at all. I don't have to tell you anything."

Zim's glare turned downright murderous.

"You have personally insulted my pride and have done a severe transgression against my hospitality," Zim growled, "I didn't have to let you into my base and I did. I could have given you instructions on how to blow yourself up with the ship instead of fixing it and I didn't. I offered you my time and this is how you repay me?"

"I guess it is," Dib growled back.

"You horrible, inconsiderate, selfish child," Zim scolded him, "See if I ever make a mistake like that again. See if I ever come to you again. I respected you as my enemy and my equal and to have disrespect me in this way will cost you dearly," Zim promised.

"It seems everything I ever do that concerns you ends up costing me dearly," Dib muttered harshly.

"I cannot believe I ever thought-" Zim started, and then stopped himself. He narrowed his eyes at Dib, "Looks like I was wrong anyway. I thought so. I overestimated you too much. I guess that will no longer be a problem," and with that, Zim stood up and marched to the back of the classroom, sitting down in his usual seat and glowering.

x-x-x

"His name is Evey," Gaz caught up to him in the hall and put her arm over his shoulders, "He plays JV Baseball and he's not completely tragic looking,"

"Are you talking about your new boyfriend?" Dib joked.

"No, I'm talking about yours smart ass," Gaz squinted, "Torque is in my Honors Lit class and it gave me ample time to grill him about his cousin."

"The famous cousin," Dib snorted.

"Yeah. Anyway, his name is Evey and he sucks at math and science apparently, but he's okay in literature. Also he's supposed to be really, really tall. And you know, this shouldn't be a reason why you should date anyone but just throwing this out there, if you started dating someone super tall Zim is going to be insanely pissed off about it and how funny would that be?"

"I'd actually like to keep off Zim's shit list right now," Dib bit his tongue, "He was livid today in class."

"Because of his whole temper tantrum?"

"Partly maybe. I kind of blew him off the day before when we went to the movies. I was supposed to work with him on the ship but well…..you know how that went down."

Gaz stopped walking. She stared at her brother.

"You blew off working with alien technology with your alien to hang out with me instead?"

Dib flushed.

"I guess I did."

Gaz gave him a look.

"If you decide to date this guy, I promise to get dad out of the house if you wanted to bone."

"GAZ!" Dib squealed, "Don't- For the love of god stop talking!"

"I don't know how else to show affection," she said simply, "Like I love you but I'm not hugging you."

"Please try to show affection in some other way that doesn't involve us talking about me having sex," Dib pleaded.

"No promises," she pursed her lips, "Anyway, like I was saying. I kind of got a little heated with Torque about his cousin suddenly being interested in you, and I was kind of suspicious that it happened to coincide with the fact you were outed, but Torque swore up and down the kid's been interested before then. I don't know if I believe it, but that's there. Torque did this whole explaining thing that after he overheard guys making gross bets about you, he mentioned it to his cousin offhandedly and I figure it must have kicked his ass into high gear if other people were going to be interested in you too….albeit for gross and horrible reasons."

"No lies there," Dib nodded, "And the part of him not being tragic looking?"

"Torque has a picture of him on his phone. For this exact reason apparently. The kid is popular I guess, I wouldn't know honestly because I couldn't give a shit about things like that, but he's shy. He's shy of you. Which is why he tried to go through Zim to get a date with you probably. So, personally I think that's kind of cute and pathetic. You're about as intimidating as a bag of grapes, so I can't think of any reason why he would be shy to talk to you, but he is."

Dib blushed. That piece of information…that some guy was too shy to ask him out properly….Dib had to admit that was a tiny bit endearing.

"Oh, also I've been leading you to his locker this whole time because you haven't noticed that we haven't been walking the cafeteria, and he's looking at you now," Gaz smiled.

Dib looked up in shock.

Kind brown eyes met his gaze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An effort is being made.


	6. Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib works towards rebuilding a different life for himself.

Dib didn't know what to expect. Even after the initial meeting of Evey, he was still somewhat lost. Even somewhat baffled at the whole situation.

Evey, true to Gaz's word, was very tall. Very, very tall. It might have been a possibility that he appeared taller than he was because Evey didn't have the same slouch most tall boys have when they were insecure about their height. Evey stood tall and straight, towering over Dib and his sister, and he had broad, wide set shoulders. His skin was darker than his cousin's, a dusty brown shade, and his hair was dyed an obvious bleach blonde color. It clashed with his dark roots.

Evey, Dib also noted, had a rather large nose but also wide brown eyes, and freckles dotted around his eyes, cheeks, and the bridge of his nose. He was wearing a baseball jacket and a horrible purple button up with a floral pattern. It was incredibly ugly.

Dib, to his embarrassment, found himself insanely smitten instantly.

'Not entirely out of the ordinary,' Dib thought to himself, 'Human beings usually decide within ten seconds of observing each other whether or not they feel an attraction. And this boy…..is really stupidly attractive.'

Dib felt his cheeks heat up instantly.

"I- I uh….?" The boy in front of him mumbled awkwardly, and Dib noticed that his cheeks were turning dark too, "I….um…hi? Hi."

Dib's mouth refused to cooperate until he felt his sister elbow his side.

"Uh- hi," Dib answered.

'Smooth,' he thought to himself.

"Hi," the boy repeated.

"You…ah….you said that," Dib said.

"Right!" The guy slapped his hands against his face, as if he were trying to hide under them, but he slid his hands down to his side, "Right….so…..hi…..I'm Evey."

"Well….I'm uh….I'm Dib," Dib introduced himself, knowing fully well that Evey knew exactly who he was.

"Yeah yeah, I know," Evey nodded, before stumbling, "Oh wait….oh no….I'm sorry. That….that came out wrong. I didn't mean to sound like…..a creepy stalker or something,"

Next to Dib, Gaz let out a small laugh. Dib whipped his head around to glare at her, and she cocked an eyebrow at him. Sibling telepathy at its finest. Dib knew damn well that she was laughing about all the times he was the creepy stalker, following Zim around everywhere and dogging his every footstep.

"Well," Gaz smirked, waving her hand in the air, "I'll leave you to it then, we'll talk later Dib," she pulled his ear and turned to walk away.

"Um….right….sorry," Dib turned back to look at Evey, looking to all the world like he wanted the floor to open up and swallow him down, "That's my sister Gaz, she can be a bit much,"

"Right. Sisters…totally. I feel you. I have a sister," Evey supplied awkwardly, while one of his legs started to bounce.

"Yeah," Dib nodded.

Evey was cute, Dib could admit, but each second seemed to get more and more awkward as time went by and it was starting to become excruciating.

"This isn't…this is probably the exact opposite of how I wanted this to go," Evey finally spoke up, "I…..to be perfectly honest….I wasn't expecting…you…talking to me. Ugh….look….. maybe we can go somewhere else? Out of the hallway?"

Evey's eyes were wide with desperation, and Dib had to say yes.

Evey cracked a brief smile at Dib's affirmation, and Dib felt his heart flutter.

Evey had crooked teeth and a small gap tooth.

It was disgustingly endearing.

x-x-x

Somewhere else turned out to be the abandoned band room. It was quiet and an open space with plenty of chairs to use. Evey pulled out a chair for Dib and reached into his backpack and pulled out a sack lunch. He offered the other half of his peanut butter sandwich to Dib. They ate in silence.

"Um….so you know my cousin, Torque?" Evey broke the silence.

"Known him since Elementary," Dib answered promptly, "He was probably one of the only kids that would pick on me the least."

"Yeah….he's pretty quiet," Evey added, "We weren't very close growing up, but when we found out we were going to the same high school, we started to hang out more often, he's a good guy,"

"Agreed," Dib said, "He might have said the same thing about you, actually,"

"Oh?" Evey looked up at the ceiling, averting Dib's gaze.

"Um…..yeah….he also mentioned that you want to ask me out on a date?"

"What!?" Evey whipped his head back at Dib, "Oh jeez, that knucklehead, I'm sorry….. I totally didn't ask for him to do that. I just….I just wanted to meet you first, honestly," Evey bit his lip.

Shit shit shit, Dib's eyes darted to Evey's mouth. He was getting in deep, fast. Is this what crushes on people were like? He had spent so much time devoted to Zim, he never really got a chance to fantasize about things like this. This was insane. He spent so much time jerking off to the thought of a stupid alien and didn't even bother to notice his own freaking species that was right in front of him.

'This is how I die,' Dib thought solemnly to himself.

"I wouldn't mind…." Dib spoke up.

Evey looked at him, silent, like as if he were afraid that saying the wrong thing would wreck him.

'Screw it,' Dib thought, 'What's the worst that can happen?'

"I wouldn't mind going out on a date…with you," Dib told him.

Evey's smile could light up an entire tristate area.

x-x-x

Gaz sat herself down to lunch when Torque came over and sat down across from her.

"How's it going Membrane?" he asked.

Gaz opened one eye, "It's been good Smacky," she answered.

"Where's your brother?" he asked.

"I imagine he's making out with your cousin as we speak," she snorted.

"No he isn't," Torque rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, probably, but they are talking," she said.

"Good," Torque nodded, "I'm glad."

"Why are you invested in my big brother anyway?" Gaz prodded, "I'm not even this invested on a good day,"

"Whatever you say Membrane," Torque huffed, "I don't know. Me and my cousin are on pretty good terms and I'm the only one in our family he's out too. I guess I just want him happy. And with Dib….. he was nowhere near as bad as he was before Zim came around. And Zim is a complete asshole," Torque frowned, "I never liked him, and when I heard about him outing your brother, that just solidified it into downright hatred," Torque sighed, "Evey is scared to death that he'll get kicked out of the house if his parents ever found out. It affects him a lot and he worries about his own safety. I worry about his safety. What Zim did was completely uncool. No one should… that kind of thing just shouldn't happen."

Torque stabbed at his plate and began to eat aggressively, in between swallows he would speak more.

"I had an uncle who came out when he was young and was homeless for years. My dad doesn't even know if he's alive or not. This world we're in is just too fucking cruel and stupid than it needs to be. Everyone in my family is miserable. One of us should get to be happy," Torque muttered.

Gaz, who was silently patient through Torque's one sided response, paused her game and set in on the table.

"You ever want to hang out at my house and play Vampire Piggy Hunter X some time?" she asked.

Torque looked up, first confused, and then suspicious.

"That isn't a date offer….is it?"

"God no," Gaz spat, "I'd rather swallow hot coals,"

"Same," he nodded, "Sure, why not? I mostly hang out with Evey anyway, if he's going to be spending his time trying to convince your brother to give him the time of day, I might as well find someone else to beat at video games,"

"You're gonna eat your words Smacky," Gaz growled, but she was smiling.

x-x-x

Dib was not, in fact, making out with Evey in the band room.

But that prospect was becoming more and more appealing to him.

Evey, while admitting he didn't really have much of an interest in ghosts and Bigfoot and aliens, (which was slightly disappointing for Dib. Evey was certainly not winning any points in regards to that) did like watching things like X-Files and Twin Peaks. The subject came up when Evey noted that Dib shared some similarities with Mulder (That remark gained several winning points).

Evey talked a bit about himself, which Dib didn't mind at all. Dib felt a little bit at a disadvantage. Everyone, it seems, knew about him. Dib only knew what little Gaz told him about Evey. It felt quite like the first time he broke into Zim's base. Terrifying and annoyance at the lack of information he possessed.

Evey's younger sister was only seven, and her name was Nadie, and she was apparently the best speller in first grade. Evey went to a different elementary school and middle school than Dib did, but found that they surprisingly were in walking distance of each other's neighborhoods. Evey apparently knew the best place to get Italian food that served actual cannoli. He mentioned that because that's where he wanted to take Dib. This week, actually, on Friday night.

Dib, feeling every bit of a flirt, wrote his number down in the palm of Evey's hand and told him to text him later.

x-x-x

The end of school was a blessing, because Dib was practically humming in his seat with jitters.

He wanted to tell Gaz everything. He wanted to gush, he wanted to scream.

He was feeling….shockingly human and normal for the first time in what seemed like forever.

For the first time, Dib wasn't excited about aliens or a new invention or the next episode of Mysterious Mysteries.

He was excited about a boy.

"You look like you want to fly out of your own skin," Gaz marched up to him, "I'm going to guess it went well,"

"I feel like if I smile any wider my mouth will stretch all the way around my head and sever itself," he answered.

"You are the weirdest little freak I've ever met," Gaz ran a hand through her hair, "So, what happened? Are you guys hooking up or what?"

"You don't have to say it that way," Dib blushed, "He asked if we could go on a date this Friday. I said yes."

"You can't tell right now, because I'm not smiling, but I'm ecstatic," Gaz said, "My little boy, all growing up and talking about boys," she hummed, "Do you want me to tell Dad, or do you want to do it?"

"I-" Dib chocked, than began to tug at his own ear in thought, "I think maybe you should do it. You're the one responsible for this train wreck in the first place. If you want to, I mean,"

"Alright," Gaz pumped her fist, "I can't wait to see what his reaction will be. God, I hope he starts crying. If he starts crying I might throw up."

"Why do you want any of those reactions to happen? That sounds genuinely awful," Dib grimaced.

"I want Dad to cry and blubber about his boy starting to act like a grown up and going on dates and I might throw up from laughing so hard. He's always romanticized everything. Oh god, imagine if you guys continue dating til Prom? Can you imagine how embarrassing he's going to act if you two go to prom together? I'll die," she laughed.

"Your sense of humor is really messed up you know," he said.

"At least I have one," she sniffed, "But now that I'm thinking about dates, I should mention that I'm stoked you guys are going out on Friday. Me and Smacky agreed that he was gonna come over so I can wallop him in Monster Cart Racers 4."

"Torque is coming over? To our actual house? Where we live?"

"Shut up," she huffed, "the more I talk to him the more we find things that we relate to each other on. I like my friends but most of them can be really grating on my nerves. I'm allowed to have friends that aren't all into only death metal and drinking."

"You like both of those things," Dib pointed out.

"I'm also into things like Monster Cart Racers 4 and my Winsor Newton watercolors too. You can have more than one interest you know," she raised her brows, "You don't always have to just pick one thing to be interested in and fling yourself whole heartedly into it."

"Okay, I get it," Dib shrugged, "I'm working on the whole distancing myself from Zim thing. Besides, now you get to hear me talk about aliens AND how cute I think Evey's gap tooth is."

"Holy mother of god I've created a monster," Gaz pouted, "This is my hell," she frowned again, "But be honest. How many pictures of Zim did you sneak today?"

"I'll have you know it was ten less than the amount I usually take," Dib argued.

"Dib, you take like a hundred pictures of Zim every time you see him," Gaz groaned.

"Right, and this time it was only 90. Okay fine. 93. Baby steps Gaz," he said.

"You're impossible," Gaz rolled her eyes.

x-x-x

"Hello children!" Professor Membrane greeted them from the kitchen while the pair of siblings walked through the door, "Last night my team made a breakthrough with our latest experiment, so I decided it was ample time to see my children and celebrate!"

"Doesn't Simmons usually get annoyed when you want to leave in the middle of a study?" Gaz asked.

"Contrary to belief, Simmons is not my mother," Membrane chuckled, "He can deal with us being pushed back one evening. I doubt our investors will be too annoyed about a small setback."

Inside, Gaz glowed. Dad rarely ever left in the middle of one of his projects. It seemed after everything that had been happening in the past months, her father was starting to put more of his career on hold for the sake of his children. And for that, Gaz was glad. Sometimes it felt like he cared more about his job than he did about them. He was making an effort now, and she was appreciative of it.

"It's nice to see you Dad," Dib said next to Gaz, "Glad the project is going well,"

"Yes yes! But enough about me! How has school been this week children?"

"It's been….alright," Gaz answered, neglecting to mention that they had played hooky the previous day.

"Excellent! Well children, I've decided to cook dinner for you both tonight! I've noticed we had several boxes of macaroni in our cupboards. Is that alright with you?"

"Can we have hot dogs on the side?" Gaz asked.

"Anything for you daughter," Membrane laughed.

Gaz and Dib retreated to the living room, as to relax and unwind from their day at school. Gaz reclined on the couch with a book she had pulled out from her bag. It looked like it might have been an assigned reading for one of her classes, Dib noted. Dib turned on the television and pulled up an old recording of one of his favorite Mysterious Mysteries episodes. Gaz made no comment about it.

After 20 minutes, the Professor called his children to the kitchen, stating that food was ready. They both dutifully walked in and sat at the table, stomach's empty and mouths eager.

Professor Membrane sat at the table with his children as they ate, and began recounting what he had been working on for the past month. Dib listened with rapt attention, while Gaz silently consumed her dinner. She didn't know what her father was talking about, only catching the general idea, but she mostly liked to listen to him talk. It was something she rarely ever got to witness first hand. He used to read her bed time stories when she was a baby, always way too excitedly and gave her more energy to play rather than to go to sleep. When she got older they faded away and then ended. But every once and a while, she got this.

It was good.

"So children, anything interesting happening with the two of you? I'm always excited to hear about anything happening with my children. Remember that I am always invested in your lives!" Professor Membrane announced, as he tended to do.

"I have a new friend coming over on Friday," Gaz started, and her father nodded excitedly, "Good. Good. It's very healthy to form new relationships and bond with your peers. Remember that it's very important to remain sociable and create attachments. It will mold you into a better human being!"

"I know Dad," Gaz said, and also not one to keep things from her father, she added, "His name is Torque Smacky. He's known Dib since middle school. He's coming to the house to play video games."

"Understood," Membrane told her, "And you understand that if I cannot personally be there, I will have one of my assistants here to monitor you two?"

"You promise that they're gonna stay in the kitchen?" Gaz groaned, but didn't protest too much. Membrane did this with all of her friends, regardless of gender. He was well aware of Dib's sexual orientation but was unsure of his daughter, so he didn't want her to feel as if he were pushing her to be one way or the other. Therefore, every one of her acquaintances was treated the same.

"Agreed," Membrane nodded, "I know you're not a fan of it but I promise they'll stay out of the way,"

"Thanks Dad."

"And how is my son doing? Are you going to be going out to see your little foreign friend?"

"Actually Dad, Dib has some news of his own," Gaz answered eagerly.

"Really! That's fantastic son! I hope it's good news!" Membrane said ecstatically.

"Well, I also hope it's good news," Dib said vaguely, "I promised Gaz that she would get to tell you."

"Ah! How fun!" Membrane laughed, "Well, what is it daughter? What's going on with our little man?"

"Dib got asked out on a date!" Gaz practically crooned.

"A date?" His father said, seemingly taken back.

He was silent for about five seconds. It was the longest five seconds of Dib's young life.

"What's his name?" Professor Membrane finally asked.

"His name is Evey," Dib told him, "He's Torque Smacky's cousin. He plays for the school Baseball Team, and he's a year younger than me, but he's also a senior."

"Where is he going to college?" his Dad asked automatically.

"Dad!" Gaz cut him off, "He got asked on a date, not a proposal for marriage," she reminded.

"Right," Membrane shook his head, "Right. You're young. It's fine. It's fine!" he said to himself, and then turned back to Dib, "Well, were is he taking you?"

"Um, it's an Italian restaurant in the city, that's all I know. I got his number today but he said that he wanted to pick me up from here. He let me know that his mom was going to drive us. She's just going to think we're friends though. He's not out."

"Understandable. Can I meet his mother briefly, beforehand?" Professor Membrane asked, "Just briefly. I know it's a first date and you're a smart boy, but I get worried, you know me," he chuckled slightly.

"I'll tell him," Dib promised, "And I understand it's a lot to take in. I've never been on a date before. I'm worried too," he admitted.

"That's normal. Just try to have fun and you'll be fine. No one ever knows what the hel- sorry, what the heck they're doing on a date, so if you're nervous, remind yourself that he's probably as clueless as you are," his father said helpfully.

"Really," Gaz snarked, "I'm sure you knew what you were doing when you first went on dates with Mom,"

Dib almost jumped at that, because it was the first time Mom was mentioned in front of their father in years, but Professor Membrane just laughed.

"Ah, that is not so daughter. I was absolutely terrified out of my mind. I was sure she was going to throw me out of the car every time we went out!" he said joyfully, "I don't know if I've mentioned this, but your mother is a truly terrifying woman. Part of the reason why I married her. Part of the reason why I don't regret marrying her either. When someone has the ability to scare you so thoroughly but still manages to make you feel exhilarated, don't ever let them go. That's what love was for me children. Being scared and loving every second."

"You're such a cheesy gross romantic Dad," Gaz snorted.

"That I am daughter, and I do well to embrace it," he laughed, "Now children, I know usually I task you both with cleaning up after yourselves, but why don't you retire to your activities while I wash up? And Dib? Please expect me in your room soon afterward. I'd like to talk with you privately."

"Sure thing Dad," both of them chirped, and excused himself from the table.

They both went into their respective rooms, and Dib sat down at his bed and picked up the nearest book on his desk. His hands shook too much for him to read.

x-x-x

A knock at the door alerted Dib to his father's presence, so he politely told him to come in. Professor Membrane closed the door behind him and grabbed Dib's desk chair and sat down.

"You probably already know what I want to talk to you about," his father began.

"Please don't give me another sex talk. Once when I was 14 was enough. I don't think both of us can survive a second time," Dib pleaded.

Membrane laughed, "Dib, you know you are my second funniest child."

"You have two kids Dad," Dib groaned, but smiled.

"I'm not here to give you another sex talk," Membrane continued, "This is more of a confirmation about what you're feeling about this and if you have any questions you wanted to ask me. This is a new event happening in your life and the start of perhaps several others. I also wanted to let you know that I love you and I want you to have everything in the world."

"Thanks Dad," Dib closed his eyes briefly, trying to sort his thoughts, "I have to admit, this whole thing is pretty confusing. I didn't think anyone could ever have a crush on me, and now this guy asks me out, and he's kind of like a stranger. I don't know what to expect or if I want anything out of it. But it does make me feel normal."

"It's to be expected," his dad said, "Society puts too much pressure on you kids to start relationships early on and try to find someone to love as fast as you can. You don't have to if you don't want to son, and you shouldn't feel obligated to like this boy after going on one date with him. It's perfectly fine to decide that you aren't interested."

"Thanks," Dib nodded, "I think I am interested. He's cute and he's nice. And he seems to like me a lot. And I might be….I might be using him a little bit to distance myself from somebody else."

"Someone else?" Membrane asked hesitantly.

"My….foreign friend," Dib said carefully, "The one who came over a couple months ago. He was the one who outed me,"

"Ah," his father said, "That friend."

"Yeah," Dib gulped, "It's just…..we never really got along and we fight all the time. And…..and I do have a crush on him. A huge one. But me and Gaz talked and she pretty much hit me in the head until I realized that Zim doesn't like me back, he's just a possessive jerk that can't stand to see me with other people, even if he hates me."

"Well, I have to agree with your sister," Membrane told him, "It can be hard….and it can be confusing. You can love someone and know that they can be very bad for you. But love shouldn't be one-sided or desperate or co-dependent. Love is hard, and it takes time and it takes work. But I wouldn't worry about all that now. You shouldn't be looking for love at your age. Look to have fun, to get to know someone and share time with them. Nothing lasts forever, so I wouldn't put too much stock in a relationship that hasn't even begun yet. Just try to stay safe and happy. That's all I want from you."

"I will," Dib nodded, wiping away a stray tear, "That helped a lot dad. I think I needed to hear that,"

"That's what I'm here for son," Membrane laughed, "do let me know if your date goes well and if you decide you want to pursue this boy. Also, do not be afraid to ask me for help. Especially if you decide to move to intimacy. I don't want you to feel too embarrassed to ask me to get you things like condoms. Your health is my number one priority and I wouldn't want that jeopardized because you feel like you can't trust me,"

"Oh my god Dad," Dib cringed, "If I promise to let you know when that happens, do you promise to never say the word condoms around me ever again?"

"I promise," Membrane sighed happily, "Alright, have a nice night son. Remember that you can talk to me whenever you want, and I'll be there to listen. Rest well,"

"God, I'll try," Dib groaned.

Membrane just laughed again.

x-x-x

Zim was furious.

Downright, bone deep, white hot furious.

Skoodge caught onto that immediately, when Zim came 'home' from his day at school and proceeded to go down into his lab so he can make a Tallest-awful racket in one of his labs.

The sound traveled and Skoodge could hear the tantrum from his room.

"Got any kings!" Gir screeched from his seat, and Minimoose answered him with a squeak. Skoodge shook his head, "Go fish."

Skoodge had no idea what a fish was, or how to play the game, but every time he said 'Go fish' the little robot would squeal happily and throw the cards everywhere, and then shoved a cupcake into his mouth.

The game made no sense at all, but every once in a while the broken SIR unit offered a cupcake to Skoodge when he 'lost.'

"Yaaaay! Fish!" Gir hollered.

Zim's voice than thundered down the halls.

"GIR! I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE IMMEDIETALY! REPORT TO THE VOOT CRUISER BAY!"

"I gotta go Bean, I'll see you later," Gir giggled at Skoodge before taking off.

Skoodge hoped that Zim's temper went down, lest he get himself killed doing whatever it was that he wanted to do.

x-x-x

The incident with Dib was the final straw.

Zim was officially out of straws. He was all out of them. No straws. None.

To think, he had purposefully embarrassed him, lied to him even, in the same week that Zim had offered to come to his place of residence and assist him with Tak's ship, an advanced piece of technology that Dib had no right to have in his possession, much less the knowledge to operate one properly.

It was a mistake on Zim's part. A mistake that shamed him deeply.

To Zim, in his ignorance, it had felt as if the squealing human maggot was finally starting to show his worthiness to Zim. They had battled nonstop for years, albeit the battles becoming tamer and less frequent than they were when Dib was young, but Zim had thought that Dib had respected the time they spent trying to mercilessly slaughter each other.

In Irken culture, it was easy to find your equal. Most Irkens were built the same, and often found allies and enemies in other peers that were similar to height. The Tallest were equals that respected one another, and were well aware that the other was evenly matched in abilities. Even for someone like Zim, the small alien begrudgingly held a small amount of respect for Skoodge and Tak, as they were both in his same height class, and both proved to be adequate Invaders, (Not that Zim would ever admit it to either of their faces. Especially Tak. He was well aware that she was reassigned and doing quite nicely for herself after she conquered a planet of her own, far away from Earth and far away from him) but Zim did not have many allies, or challenging rivals. He knew he was easily lovable (in his own mind)as he shouted for peers to love and respect him, but other Irkens, even Irkens in his own height class no less, were easily jealous of his brilliance and strength. Zim very much did not understand why other Irkens were constantly difficult in that matter. Even Irkens that outright hated him did not want to fight him. It was endlessly frustrating.

In other species however, finding an individual that could match an Irken's strength and abilities and could be measured as a potential ally or enemy was laughable.

There were few and far between. As far as Zim knew, the only other species that could match strength with Irkens were Planet Jackers. It was not uncommon for Irkens to create lifelong enemies with one of their race. Vortians used to be popular allies for Irkens, until they found themselves enslaved by the empire. Zim had often been called old-fashioned by some of his peers for keeping an ally with one of them, Prisoner 777. But the Vortian was brilliant, even if Zim knew that he was no better than a common slave.

However, up until Earth, Zim had never had a rival. He had tried, oh, how he had tried, to make enemies that would match wits with him and promises to fight to the death, but he was often turned down or ignored.

And then Dib came into his life and everything changed.

It was rather embarrassing, Zim had to admit, to be invested in a lower class species in the way that he was invested in Dib. Zim hated him. He hated Dib so much, it burned. He hated Dib so much that it became his core, his reason for everything, that it enforced every decision and input Zim's reasoning.

Conquering Earth wasn't about proving himself to his Tallest anymore. It hadn't been about that for a long time. He wanted to conquer Earth for the sick joy he would feel at having BEATEN Dib. He needed to WIN against him. Zim needed to BEAT Dib at every POSSIBLE level there was to annihilate him.

So Zim made up games, made up schemes, Evil plans and elaborate strategies for him and Dib to play and fight and declare themselves victors. It was thoroughly enjoyable. Zim liked coming up with them. He liked plotting new ideas in ways he could win against Dib. Each stage was a test and Dib managed to surpass expectations beautifully. Zim wanted to prove to himself and to others that Dib was suitable as Zim's greatest rival, his mortal enemy.

If you asked Zim ten years ago if he would ever consider having a rival that wasn't an Irken, wasn't his equal, having a rival that came from a lesser species, Zim would laugh and mock whoever had the audacity to say that to him. An Irken with a rival that came from a less evolved species was a weak and lesser Irken. It was an embarrassment. You might as well rip off your antennas and renounce yourself as part of the Irken Empire, because only pathetic Irkens would sink that low.

Dib went above and beyond, proving himself time and time again that he was Zim's equal in all things. And it made Zim…..not happy…..but… satisfied. He had found someone to hate with every last inch of himself. It helped that Dib was so much taller than Zim as well. It made Zim keen. An Irken with a rival taller than they were? Albeit Dib was a different species, but height mattered a lot. Height was almost everything. If only the Irkens at home could see him now, runt Zim, with a Rival that almost matched to The Tallest in height. Magnificent.

But then, the embarrassment. The insulting behavior. The flat out dismissal. Dib had disrespected Zim to the lowest possible level.

Dib was Zim's Acknowledged Rival and he had IGNORED Zim.

That would not do. That would not do at all.

And for that, Zim would make sure that the Dib-human would be punished thoroughly for his transgressions.

And he would like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It might be more difficult than he thought.


	7. Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib has to celebrate his birthday with his mother, and he recalls memories of the past.

Dib groaned while rolling over in the bed. His pelvic area was stinging with pain, and he was too angry to let out a sob. 

From the hall, he could hear Gaz scream.

“WHY ARE WE OUT OF SANITARY NAPKINS!” she wailed.

One of the few things he shared with his sister.

Their cycles were synchronized.

“Dad!!!” Gaz shouted.

“I don’t think he’s home!” Dib shouted from his bed.

“Of course he’s here!” Gaz shot back, “It’s your Birthday doofus, he never misses our birthdays!”

Dib’s eyes opened. That’s right. He was 18 today.

What a great way to start adulthood.

Dib crawled over the side of his bed, and reached under his desk. He pulled out a box full of tampons that he kept in case his periods snuck up on him. He grabbed a pack for himself and for Gaz. He stumbled out of his room, and knocked on the bathroom door.

“I have my extras,” Dib said from the other side of the door, “We can go to the pharmacy down the street and get some more.”

“I hate Tampons,” Gaz grumbled, opening the door and sticking her hand out.

“I feel the same,” Dib flinched, “But the sooner we’re ready the sooner we can go,” he reminded her.

“Fine,” she said, and finally walked out of the bathroom.

After Dib walked behind her, got himself ready, and bounded down the stairs.

“Son, I’m making your favorite breakfast!” Professor Membrane greeted his son in the kitchen, wearing a pink apron, pulling out a plate of French Toast with eggs.

“Can you give us about ten minutes?” Dib asked, “Me and Gaz need to run to the store really quick, we’re out of pads.”

“Well, your mother is on her way over, I’m sure if you call and ask, she’ll be happy to pick some up before she gets here.”

“I don’t want to bother her,” Dib said quickly, “And me and Gaz like different brands, I don’t really feel like trying to explain it to her,”

“Your mother, as far as I’m aware, also has experience with periods,” Professor Membrane told his son, “I’m sure it won’t be an issue,” he said.

“Fine,” Dib sighed, walking back out into the living room so he could call his mother from the house phone.

x-x-x

“Gaz sweetie, are you hungry?” Professor Membrane asked his daughter when she came downstairs and sat herself at the table.

“Starving,” she answered, grabbing a plate from her father, “I heard Dib on the phone with Mom, she’s coming over today?”

“She’s always here for your birthdays,” Professor Membrane reminded her, “And even if she didn’t, I doubt she’d miss this one. Your brother is turning into a young man today, and that’s a very important milestone in a boy’s life.”

“Is that why his boyfriend isn’t here to intrude on the milestone?” Gaz asked slyly.

“Actually, I asked your brother if he wanted to invite him,” Professor Membrane told her, “He didn’t think it would be a good idea.”

Gaz raised her brows, ‘interesting’ she thought to herself. She would have to ask Dib about that later. As far as she knew, Dib and Evey were still disgustingly into each other. After their first date a few weeks ago, Dib had come home with stars in his eyes. The handful of dates they had afterwards had the same effect.

She hoped it had nothing to do with Mom being here today. She never knew her mother having problems with Dib’s sexuality or his gender identity, but it wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t find something to turn her nose up at when it came to Dib, her eldest child.

Speak of the Devil, Gaz thought, as her brother walked back into the kitchen.

“Mom’s picking up some pads for us,” Dib informed his sister, “She said, ‘luckily, I’m coming upon a conviance store as we speak, so it’s not a troubling offer,’” he spat.

It was no secret that Dib wasn’t incredibly fond of how stiff their mother talked.

“Dib,” Professor Membrane spoke up once he had served his son, “Are you sure you don’t want to invite your boyfriend over? It is your birthday. I doubt it would be a bother on any of us,” he asked.

“That’s okay dad,” Dib said, “Birthdays are family time, and I don’t mind spending it with just us,” he smiled, “And besides, he told me he’s already planning something for us to do to celebrate, so I’m not too disappointed.”

“I should get myself someone to date,” Gaz joked, “So I can also have two birthdays.”

“Gaz, my funny child, what a jokester,” Professor Membrane mused.

And while the family, full of smiles as they tended to be these days, laughed good naturedly at each other, the doorbell rang.

x-x-x

Professor Hela Risetti-Membrane was about a hundred different contradictions at once. It was probably the reason why her ex-husband had been so enraptured with her in the first place. 

She had a severe face, with sharp cheekbones and razor sharp eyes. It was easy to see where Gaz got her looks from. While Professor Membrane was happy, welcoming, and enthusiastic, it seemed that Professor Risetti let in a chill wherever she walked. She dressed conservatively, if not for the overly large green fur lined jacket she wore over her tiny and thin frame. It looked out of place, with her navy blue fashionista skirt that came down just above her ankles, and pressed white blouse. Her dark auburn hair was tied up in a neat bun, while her bangs came down across her cheekbones with a straight edge. 

If you had to guess what Professor Risetti’s field of study was by just her appearance, you would think that she was perhaps a mathematician, or an engineer. You would be correct in both of those things. She dressed precisely as was expected of her. She was tall, domineering, and above all, annoyed at everything around her.

It was one of the many things Dib didn’t like about her.

She was intelligent, for sure, and she had a hand in his conception, along with his sibling. He remembered the story well. His mother had explained that before he was born, his father and her had spliced their genes together and created several human embryos. One would be a clone of dad, and the other would be a clone of her, and they incubated in her uterus for five months, the process being sped up because he couldn’t be bothered to spend an entire year out of commission, before she gave birth to him, and then the next year, his sister. 

After she told him that, he burst out into tears, bawling, frightened at the idea that he wasn’t a real person, and his mother had stood before him, stunned, not knowing what to do with her screaming son.

She was never any good with children, and after realizing she didn’t know how to care for her own, she realized she never would be.

But at least, Dib thought, he didn’t have to spend time around Grandad and Grandma. Hela’s parents came to visit their grandchildren once. Everyone in the family hated the entire occurance. Hela, being annoyed at her estranged mother and father who were more severe and controlling than she was, couldn’t stand to be around them long. Dib was annoyed at the pity he felt for his cold mother. It was easy to see why his mother was so detached and distant from them, after being raised the way she was, but the fact that she didn’t seem to spare any effort to fix that is what angered Dib the most.

And now she was here, like she was every year.

x-x-x

Professor Risetti was carrying two plastic bags when she walked in.

“The sanitary napkins you requested,” she said simply, handing them to her son stiffly.

“Thanks mom,” he told her, and he noticed her pinched look. She had asked him several times to call her Mother, but he always forgot. 

At least she never seemed to ‘forget’ his name. The one time she had dead named him, he left the house and refused to talk to her until she left. It had been several years but it looked as if all this time, she hadn’t forgotten her lesson. 

He didn’t think he would ever forgive her if she did. His mother was a genius, and it shouldn’t be that hard of a thing to remember.

“Happy Birthday Dib,” she sniffed, and reached into her overly large coat and handed him another bag, but this one was bright red and had tissue paper in it. His gift.

“And for Gaz,” she took out a small box with a ribbon attached, handing it to her daughter. Professor Risetti had a habit of buying gift for both her children whenever she visited, no matter the occasion. Dib figured it was because she forgot who’s birthday it was until she saw the decorations in the house.

Blue for Dib. Purple for Gaz.

“Hello Hela!” Professor Membrane shouted from the kitchen, “You’re just in time for breakfast seconds!”

“Hello Professor Membrane,” she greeted him formally.

“Aww, there’s no need to be so formal,” the professor said cheerfully, “You can call me Membrane.”

 

“If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather not,” she said to him, “And please call me Professor Risetti.” She added.

“I can tell you what’s not going to happen,” Gaz whispered to Dib under her breath.

Dib chuckled.

Hela Risetti seated herself at the kitchen table, wiping at the surface with her finger and inspecting it. Dib wanted to puke. 

His mother was always doing things like this, and it drove him crazy. 

His father than announced he needed something from the basement, and stepped out, leaving them alone.

“Hmmm,” she said, scrutinizing the dust on her finger, “So children,” she called their attention, “How have you both been faring? With schooling and such.”

Sometimes, Dib thought his mother was an alien. She talked like someone who had never been to earth, read one book that was written in the 18th Centaury, and then came down and tried to be social with the locals. But that wasn’t very fair. Grandad talked like that all the time, to a much worse degree. He also seemed to be stuck in the 18th Centaury as well, as he had refused to call Dib by name or use his pronouns. 

Grandad was no longer invited to any family functions, and Hela Risetti had made it a point not to contact him socially again. The final straw had been when he wanted to ‘debate’ about the topic at a thanksgiving dinner, with Dib present. 

Dib had only been nine at the time, and he remembered the look on his mother’s face as it progressed. He had never seen her more furious. Dib learned at that age that he should be afraid of his mother, but maybe just a little bit thankful with what she was able to give him.

If Dib’ father was his hero, his comfort and his home, than his mother was the stone wall around them, cold, unmoving, but protective all the same.

His mother’s shrill voice filling the air, “How dare you!” she had shouted over the dinner table, after her father was finished with his spiel about whatever it was he had an issue with about her son. Dib had been in tears.

“You’re fifty-seven old man!” she shrieked, “Thundering away to your grave, and you think you can speak to my son that way? My nine year old baby boy? He’s a child and you’re talking down to him as if you’re smarter than he is because of your age? Have some sense of dignity!” she continued, while grandad’s eyes started to bulge out of his head. Gaz had giggled. 

“What self-respecting man tries to start an argument with a child? I have never been more disgusted and ashamed in my entire life. Go ahead and continue to sit pretty over the self-assurance you were able to put my son in tears. Well, I’ve only one thing to say to you father, and that maybe you should be less concerned about the generation of children today inhabiting the planet and more worried about what you’ll be wearing in your coffin when you depart from it.”

At that final note, she hurriedly collected her children and her husband, and they left the fancy dining establishment where her father was hosting their party.

She bundled up her children hastily, tears stinging in her own eyes, and she had sat them down and told them she had something important to say.

“Don’t ever listen to adults,” she had said, “Adults will lie to you, and make you feel unimportant and small. So you mustn’t ever listen to them. They’ll tell you that the world has rules and that you have to follow the rules in order to survive, but it’s a great lie they tell themselves. And when you’re adults yourselves, you’ll have the power to change the rules and make the world a better place for you to live in. Adults will tell you not to be selfish, but it’s because they want to continue being selfish themselves. Don’t you ever listen to anything they say.”

Gaz, a smart ass by eight, had looked up at their mother.

“Aren’t you an adult too mom?”

Their mother had a pained expression on her face, “Yes, but I had to become an adult a lot sooner than I was ready to,” she had said, “But that just means I learned all their tricks when I was young. So I’m telling you now. Listen to mother, and you’ll be fine.”

That was the last time Dib had felt something akin to love coming from her.

“Dib? I asked you a question. Are you excited to be graduating this year?” his mother’s voice broke him out of his memories.

“Oh. Oh yeah, I guess so. I’m a little nervous though,” he said.

“That’s not uncommon,” she said, “Have you thought about what you might want to do after school is done? What career path you would like to pursue?”

“I don’t know,” he muttered, “I’m still trying to figure stuff out right now, I can’t even focus on the future.”

“I see,” she sighed, “Well, you know me and your father both have very prestigious fields of study, and have access to laboratories and it wouldn’t be difficult to arrange something with a private tutor for college.”

“Don’t tell me, you and dad are going to start fighting about who I’m going to start working for,” Dib snarked. His mother looked disgusted.

“Absolutely not,” she huffed, “I just wanted to give you some self-assurance. We’re here to help.”

“And what if I was really serious about being a paranormal investigator?” he challenged, and her shoulders stiffened.

She leaned in close and said, “Don’t tell your father I said this,” she answered cryptically, “But how would you like to meet one of my colleague’s I’m currently seeing?”

“Um,” Dib tilted his head, “Of all the things I was expecting you to say, that wasn’t one of them.”

“Is it normal to talk to your mom about her boyfriend’s while our dad is in the other room?” Gaz asked.

“Boyfriends? So juvenile. We’re both adults and distinctly professional,” she snorted, “His name is Doctor Gerghardt and he’s an astronomer. When he’s not working and acting a fool around me and disturbing my work, he talks non-stop about aliens. It’s rather infuriating,” she said, “He’s doesn’t get paid for his work with extraterroristorials, as he’s fond of complaining about, but he uses the money he makes in teaching to fund his on work. Perhaps that’s the kind of course you would prefer to take,” she added.

Dib was falling in love with idea the more his mother talked. The idea of having an esteemed title, earning money in order to pursue his passion was being more and more appealing to him. He had to meet his mother’s boyfriend, despite how extremely odd that sounded.

“Doesn’t seem like your type of guy,” Gaz commented at her mother, smiling snidely.

“I beg your pardon?” Hela Risetti said, looking at her daughter.

“I mean, from the way you described him, he sounds like the boy version of dad. How young is he anyway?”

“None of your business!” his mother said, aghast, “You need to learn to mind your manners young lady!”

“Whatever,” Gaz rolled her eyes, “But speaking of younger boyfriends…”

“Shut it Gaz,” Dib growled.

“Don’t talk like that to your sister,” their mother scolded, “What were you saying?”

“Dib has a boyfriend,” Gaz supplied.

“Oh. Oh, your father might have mentioned something like that,” Risetti answered, “Are we to be expecting him later?”

“No,” Dib answered, “We’re going to be doing our own thing tomorrow. We’ve only been dating for about two weeks and I thought it might be too soon for him to come over and meet…..my parents.”

Dib was excluding the fact that Evey had already met Professor Membrane.

Professor Membrane finally returned from downstairs, holding a large manila envelope with a ribbon tied around it.

“I wanted to wait til tonight, but you know me. I’m too excited to keep anything a secret for long,” Professor Membrane said cheerily, handing the envelope to Dib.

“Happy Birthday son,” He told him. Dib made a move to open the envelope when the doorbell rang.

No one was expecting anyone to drop in, so they all gave each other a look of confusion.

“I’ll get it,” Gaz said, walking to the living room, while the rest of the family followed her. The door swung open as soon as she unlocked the door and Dib’s heart stopped.

“Oh COME ON!” Dib shouted, throwing his hands up in the air.

“Can’t I just have one day? Just one!” he marched back into the kitchen, arms crossed.

Zim stood in the doorway, smiling toothily, seemingly oblivious to Gaz’s murderous glare, as he announced happily, “IT IS I, THE GREAT ZIM, HERE TO WISH HIS BESTEST FRIEND DIB A WONDERFUL EMERGANCE FROM THE WOMB DAY!” 

Gaz slammed the door on him, catching his hand as he let out an annoying shriek, deafening everyone in the house, while he screamed curses and threats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dib's 18th Birthday, Part 1. Sorry it was so short. Remember to please leave comments, as I love to read them, and I'll see you all next time!


End file.
